Life is full of ups and downs,
so it’s inevitable that we’ll go through experiences that we’d rather
forget sooner or later. Luckily, there are several methods to train your
mind to cope with negative memories in a healthy way. Here’s how to
forget a bad memory:
Method 1: Creating Healthy Thought Patterns
1. Avoid triggers
If you happen to get blindsided
by a bad memory when you go to certain places or are surrounded by
certain things, then you need to identify what those are and avoid them.
Avoiding them completely will facilitate the bad memory fading out of
your mind because you’ll have fewer reasons to call it up.
With the above being said, not
all triggers are entirely avoidable. Maybe you simply don’t want to have
to change your routine or stop listening to your favorite band just
because your ex broke off your relationship last time you were listening
to them.
2. Think about the memory until it loses power
Normally, your first instinct is
to attempt to avoid thinking about a bad memory, however, as
counter-intuitive as it may seem, it actually pays you better to do the
opposite. Instead of pushing it out of your mind, allow yourself to
remember what happened, and think about it until the memory loses its
sting. Eventually, you’ll simply stop thinking about it so much. When it
does pop into your mind again, it won’t be as painful anymore. Take
comfort in the fact that the event that caused the bad memory is now
over.
3. Try memory alteration
Did you know that your memory
changes slightly every time you remember something? Your brain makes up
for tiny gaps in memory by replacing them with false information. You
can actually take advantage of this by replacing the bad parts of a
memory with different information. For example, if you remember feeling
scared and alone, try to remember what occurred to eventually make you
feel better.
4. Focus on happier memories
Our brains can get into ruts
that are difficult to climb back out of. If you tend to dwell on bad
memories quite a lot, you should train your mind to switch to happy
memories instead. Don’t give a bad memory enough time to change your
mood or make you feel anxious. The moment that it comes into your mind,
shift your thinking to something happier. Practice positive thinking
until you override automatically falling into a mental rut. You can do
this by pairing a bad memory with a good one. Have a good memory fresh
in your mind to keep you from having to rack your brain for something
positive in the moments that you’re feeling bad.
5. Learn to be in the present
Teach yourself to focus more of
your attention toward the present moment – it’s called being mindful.
Focus on the here and now, as opposed to dwelling on the past or
worrying about the future. Being mindful is a great stress reliever, and
can help you to get more out of life. It’s about letting go of things
you cannot change, and just “being”. Pay attention to how your body
feels right here, right now. Pay attention to your senses – what do you
hear, see, taste or smell? Don’t limit your senses to past memories.
Method 2: Having a Positive Attitude
1. Consider what you learned from the event
You can learn something even
from the most horrible experience, although it might take you a rather
long time to realize it. If someday you can bring yourself to look back
at the situation and see the wisdom you gained from it, your bad memory
will likely lose some of its sting. Every cloud has a silver lining –
you just have to come to realize it. Negative experiences are an
inevitable part of life. Difficult experiences make you stronger and
make you appreciate the more pleasurable moments. Without feeling bad,
you wouldn’t be able to appreciate feeling good. Furthermore, you should
always count your blessings and be thankful for what you have in the
present moment.
2. Form happy new memories
Bad memories tend to fade away
with time, but you can help to speed up the process by living as fully
as you can and creating positive new memories to fill your mind with.
Spend more time doing the things that you enjoy, and in the company of
those that make you happy. The more positive memories you can make, the
less significant the negative ones become. Try going to places you’ve
never been before so that you can have brand-new experiences wholly
untainted by the past. Travel to a new city, or be a tourist in your
own. If traveling isn’t for you, try changing up your routine in some
other way. Try a new restaurant, or invite all your friends over for a
dinner party.
3. Keep yourself busy
A full schedule and a stimulated
mind equal less time to dwell on negative thoughts. Make it a point to
go out with more friends if you tend to spend a lot of time by yourself,
or visit your family more often. Read a good book, or pick up a new
hobby. Time spent sitting around with nothing to do makes it more likely
that you’ll dwell on bad memories. Physical activity is always good to
consider, so take up something new, such as soccer or kickboxing. You
can also try walking a certain number of miles each day, or even yoga.
Another thing to consider is creativity – pouring your energy into
creating something such as a painting, writing a song or finishing a DIY
project will restrict your time for thinking about bad memories. Last
but not least, volunteering is a great way of helping others while
taking your mind off of your own problems.
4. Avoid alcohol and drugs
Mind-altering substances just
have the tendency to make everything worse, especially if you’re in a
depressed or anxious state. Alcohol can increase depression,
irritability, and anxiety, as can drugs. Using alcohol and drugs to
forget bad memories often leads to addiction, so you should seek help
now if this is already a behavioral pattern for you. Other forms of
escapism, such as gambling or overeating, could also be detrimental to
your health, and thus should be avoided. Acknowledging such behaviors is
important
5. Make your health a priority
Being consumed with negative
thoughts can make it difficult to take good care of yourself, but if
your body is in a good state of health, it can have a big effect on the
way you think. Eat nutritious food, get plenty of sleep and work out a
few times a week to keep your bad memories at bay.
THIS IS ONLY FOR INFORMATION, ALWAYS CONSULT YOU PHYSICIAN BEFORE
HAVING ANY PARTICULAR FOOD/ MEDICATION/EXERCISE/OTHER REMEDIES.
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