A Guide To Avoiding and Dealing With Emotional Blackmail

Emotional blackmail is not a pleasant thing to encounter, and many of us succumb to it without even realizing it at various stages in our lives. The truth is that there are many manipulative people out there, who seem to thrive on getting a one-up over someone they deem to be vulnerable and/or they feel they can take something from.
As a result, emotional blackmail is something you should do your utmost to avoid. If you think you’re already in such a situation, you need to be able to recognize the signs to identify emotional blackmail and put an end to it. Here is our guide to dealing with emotional blackmail:

Red Flag Situations
1. If you always seem to end up apologizing for your actions even though you know you did nothing wrong.
2. If your partner or spouse never takes no for an answer.
3. If you always end up giving in to your spouse or partner’s wishes at the expense of your own.
4. If the amount of times you make sacrifices for your partner or spouse far outweighs the number of times they do the same for you.
5. If you’re being intimidated or threatened into abiding by your spouse or partner’s wishes.
The Typical Emotional Blackmail Tactic
A book entitled “Emotional Blackmail”, written by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier, theorizes that those who use emotional blackmail employ a Fear --> Emotion --> Guilt tactic.
The first stage involves the manipulator making the victim fear, anger or disappoint them. In turn, this makes the victim feel obligated to meet their demands. If the victim fails to comply, then the result is feelings of guilt being instilled by the manipulator for not abiding by his or her wishes.
All of this is done very subtly – the manipulator uses tactics to appeal to the victim’s sensibilities. They make their demands seem reasonable, and make the victim feel selfish if they aren’t given what they want.
If you feel that you’re the victim of FOG tactics by your partner or spouse, ask someone who you’re close to give you a different perspective on your relationship by telling you what they see from the outside.

Vulnerable Individuals
Individuals who are most vulnerable to emotional blackmail are the ones who have trouble saying “no”. If you think you’re one of those people, you need to allow yourself to get comfortable with the thought of refusing or rebutting that which you are not content with doing. Think about the tone of voice you’ll use to utter the little word in the future, as well as the words you’ll use to reflect empowerment and help you feel more in control of the situations you’re likely to face.
How to Put a Stop to Emotional Blackmail
1. Prioritize your wants, needs and preferences over those of your partner.
2. Set clear boundaries that cannot be overstepped in any circumstances.
3. Realize that although you may love your partner very much, your well-being comes first. Share your personal priorities and make compromises accordingly.
4. Remember that giving in to emotional blackmail will only make your situation worse.

5. If your partner or spouse is threatening you with physical violence, or alluding to threats of physical violence, leave immediately and alert the authorities of the threats being leveled against you.
6. Reach out to your social support system and seek professional help if you need to.

THIS IS ONLY FOR INFORMATION, ALWAYS CONSULT YOU PHYSICIAN BEFORE HAVING ANY PARTICULAR FOOD/ MEDICATION/EXERCISE/OTHER REMEDIES.                                    PS- THOSE INTERESTED IN RECIPES ARE FREE TO  VIEW MY BLOG-                                                                                           https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com/    

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How To Beat Procrastination!

The activity of delaying or putting off something is known as procrastination. Even the best individuals battle with it consistently. However, some people accomplish something that the majority of us do not- they push past it. They do not permit it to influence their work. They develop brilliant and beneficial techniques to break past mental obstructions and remain productive. Here are a few ways with which you can beat procrastination:

1. Try to start: Starting something can be very difficult. However, in case that you can get over that part, you will have some level of energy. Even your brain will probably goad you to continue dealing with the task. This happens because of a mental phenomenon called the Zeigarnik impact. It says that unfinished tasks will probably stay in your memory. This is exactly why planned things and to-do lists consistently appear in your mind until you finish them.
2. Separate huge tasks into smaller assignments: Enormous tasks can frighten you, so you put them off. By taking that huge task and separating it into smaller assignments, you can decrease your burden make a start. This could include concentrating on one part of the research to begin with.
3. Ask yourself “why?”: It is easier to inspire yourself to accomplish something you value. In case you are attempting to complete something, why not spend a couple of minutes asking yourself precisely why you need to do it and why it is so important to you. Weighing out the positives and negatives of the task and its benefits for you, can make you decide and perform better.
4. Attempt to take a break: For those who procrastinate out of having worked too much, it does not mean you have to complete the task at once. This is known as the "sunk cost bias." The "sunk cost bias" influences players, speculators, and even a procrastinator. They feel that the task will need to be completed now and cannot be completed in the future. In some cases, a task simply does not mean you have to work on it more and more after hours.
5. Go easy on yourself: To beat procrastination, you should be strict with yourself. However, that is not what science says. In case that you have procrastinated till now, you will probably begin on time going ahead. You need to show yourself some sympathy for your previous laziness instead of thrashing yourself about it.

Self-control is an important quality many successful individuals have. Having self-control permits you to carefully understand why you are procrastinating and can likewise, work towards it. When you understand why you are doing so, it will be easier for you to make a plan to beat it. This will allow you to see the underlying cause of your problem as well.

THIS IS ONLY FOR INFORMATION, ALWAYS CONSULT YOU PHYSICIAN BEFORE HAVING ANY PARTICULAR FOOD/ MEDICATION/EXERCISE/OTHER REMEDIES.                                                                                                                                                                                                       PS- THOSE INTERESTED IN RECIPES ARE FREE TO  VIEW MY BLOG-                                                                                           https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com/   

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7 Signs Your Child Is an iPad Addict

Withdrawal symptoms and cravings may seem like the province of hard-drug addiction, but increasingly, psychologists are noticing these same signs of addiction in people who use devices ranging from smartphones to tablets.

And as more and more households get iPad, more children may start to get hooked.  In April, reporters pounced on a story about a 4-year-old who was seeing a therapist to kick her iPad addiction

Though diagnosing a 4-year-old may be a stretch, "with what we're learning about addictions, it is fair to say that somebody can become addicted to an iPad," said a psychologist.



The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders V (DSM-V), sometimes called the psychiatrist's "bible," has not officially added Internet gaming to its roster of disorders, but it's under consideration. And it's likely that iPad, smartphone or other device addiction will be viewed similarly as more data show their harmful effects, the psychologist said.


From physical withdrawal symptoms to losing touch with the outside world, here are seven signs your child may be hooked on the iPad.

1. Withdrawal
Withdrawal from heroin or alcohol causes headaches and the shakes, but device addiction has physical withdrawal symptoms as well. In a 2011 study, researchers asked 1,000 college students around the world to go 24 hours without using their smartphones, other mobile devices or the Internet. Many reported symptoms such as anxiety and depression, and one anonymous student even said he or she was "itching like a crackhead" from the longing to use a phone.
If your child is irritable, anxious or sad after having the iPad is taken away, he or she may have an unhealthy attachment to the device.

2. Tolerance
Just as heroin addicts need bigger and bigger hits to get the same effect, iPad users can also develop a tolerance.
"Kids might have enjoyed it for 10 minutes, now they need it for an hour or two hours or three," the psychologist said.
If playing 20 minutes of Math Ninja or Subway Surfer is no longer enough to make a kid happy, that may also be a sign of addiction.

3. Loss of interest
If children who once loved playing soccer, picking on their kid brother, or climbing trees have lost interest in all those activities in favor of hours of "Air Hockey Gold," it may signal a problem. (An occasional preference for the iPad over other activities isn't a problem; the screen craving has to be crowding out everything else to a significant degree.)

4. Lack of control
Addicts typically have an inability to control their usage. And though 4-year-olds are not known for their self-control, children may have a problem if parents have a really hard time taking the tablet away from their child without a huge meltdown.
On the other hand, parents of young children should be able to set limits, and a young child throwing a temper tantrum is not a sign of addiction on its own, the psychologist said. 

5. Deception
Have you caught Henry hiding underneath the kitchen table hunched over a lit-up screen, playing his favorite game? Yes, another red flag of addiction is children lying about iPad use, sneaking the iPad into their bedroom or other hideout, or otherwise deceiving family members to get more screen time.

6. Trouble dealing
Addicts often use a substance or an activity as a way of escaping from a negative mood or feeling.
"Whether it's sex, drugs or gambling, it's about other feelings that they can't control," the psychologist said.Kids who are using the iPad to avoid dealing with sad, stressful, or negative emotions could have a problem. For instance, if your kid always grabs the iPad after a fight with a sibling or a parent, he may be coping with his negative emotions using the iPad.

7. Losing opportunities
Losing significant relationships, failing in school, or performing poorly at work are all signs of addiction. Though young children have probably not lost their shot at the corner office as a result of too much Candy Crush Saga, they may be losing friends or their grades may be slipping.
"The idea is that the child is detaching from the world around them," the psychologist said.

Normal or not?
For all these symptoms, it's important to note that mentally healthy children, especially young children, become slightly obsessive about any new activity.

"When a child s learning to master their environment, or trying to get good at something, it's okay for them to spend a lot of time on it," Amitay said.

In young children especially, most symptoms of iPad addiction can be short-circuited early on if parents set limits, create consequences for excessive use and provide daily structure for their children. 
The fact that parents have trouble taking an iPad away from a 3-year-old doesn't necessarily mean they have a toddler addict; it means the parent have trouble saying no, the psychologist said.

"If parents can't intervene with a 3-year-old, good luck with a teen," he said.

THIS IS ONLY FOR INFORMATION, ALWAYS CONSULT YOU PHYSICIAN BEFORE HAVING ANY PARTICULAR FOOD/ MEDICATION/EXERCISE/OTHER REMEDIES.    

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