A Self-Help Guide to Coping With Grief

There’s nothing quite as painful as losing a loved one, and anyone who’s gone through it will tell you that they went through a whole range of difficult emotions. Many that have had such an experience will also tell you that they felt like the pain and sadness would never let up. Although there is no right or wrong way to grieve a loss, there are numerous ways of coping with the pain and eventually moving on.

What Is Grief? 

Grief is a natural emotional response to some sort of loss in life. You feel it when something or someone you love is taken from you. The more devastating the loss, the more intense your grief will be. Although grief is primarily associated with the loss of a loved one, there are many different kinds of loss. Some of the things that you can lose resulting in grief are: 

 

• A relationship or marriage 

 

• Good health 

 

• A job 

 

• Financial Stability 

 

• A pet 

 

• A cherished dream 

 

• A loved one’s good health 

 

• A Friendship 

 

• Safety after a trauma 

 

• The family home 

 

All of the above can be significant events in a person’s life, however even a subtle loss can lead to grief. A good example of this is when a person first leaves home or retires from a career they truly loved.

 

Key Point- It's Different For Everyone ! 

 

No two people grieve in the same way. The individual grieving process is dependent on numerous factors, such as personality, coping style, life experience and faith. The nature of the loss is also part of the equation. One thing that holds true for everyone is that grieving takes time, and there’s no fixed timetable for the amount of time a person should or shouldn’t spend grieving. Depending on the loss, some will begin to feel better in a matter of weeks or months, whereas it takes others years to overcome their grief. Regardless of the loss you experience, the key thing is to be patient with yourself and allow the process to unfold naturally. 

 

Common Grief Myths Debunked 

Myth: Ignoring the pain will make it go away faster. 

 

Fact: Ignoring or suppressing the pain you’re feeling will only make your suffering worse in the long run. Employ a head-on approach to deal with your grief. 

 

Myth: Strength in the face of loss is important. 

 

Fact: If you feel sad, frightened or lonely, show it to your love ones. You needn't 'protect' them by putting on a mask. Let them help you by being honest with them. 

 

Myth: A lack of tears means that you aren’t saddened by a loss. 

 

Fact: Crying isn’t the only response to grief. In fact, someone that sheds just a few tears over a loss is likely to be feeling it just as deeply as anyone else affected by it. 

 

Myth: Your grief should be over in about a year. 

 

Fact: There’s no fixed timetable for grieving, nor should anyone ever attempt to create one. 

 

The Five Stages of Grief

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was the very first person to establish the concept of the five stages of grief. She came up with the idea after studying the feeling of patients facing terminal illness, but it has since been applied to other significant losses in life. Here they are: 

 

1. Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

2. Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?” 

 

3. Bargaining: “Make this stop happening, and in return I will ____.” 

 

4. Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.” 

 

5. Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.” 

 

Note that you do not have to go through each stage of grief in order to heal. In fact, there are numerous people that don’t go through any of these stages. As for the ones that do, they don’t necessarily go through them in a neat, sequential order. 

 

Common Signs of Grief 

 

Shock and disbelief – Difficulty accepting the loss in the immediate aftermath of it happening

Sadness – Profound sadness is the most widely-recognized sign of grief. This is associated with feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. 

 

Guilt – Grief is often associated with feelings or what was or wasn’t done in regard to the loss being experienced. For instance, if someone has passed away after a long and painful illness and you felt relief, you may feel guilty. Similarly, if you feel like you didn’t do what you had to to prevent the death, you may feel guilty about not having done enough. 

 

Anger – Anger, together with resentment, can often arise in relation to a loss, and this is even in instances when there is no one at fault for it. Your anger could be directed toward a loved one, yourself, or even the person you lost for abandoning you. The need to appropriate blame for the injustice done to you can be very strong.

Fear – Feeling of anxiety, helplessness, insecurity, and even panic attacks can be triggered by a loss. It can trigger fears regarding your own mortality, having to face life in light of the loss, or facing previously shared responsibilities alone. 

 

Physical Symptoms – Although we tend to think of grief as an emotional process, there are numerous physical problems that can present themselves, such as fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches, pains, and insomnia. 

 

What You Should Do After a Loss

Turn to friends and family – You should lean on friends and family in your time of need, even if you’re a proud and self-sufficient individual. Do tell them what you need, whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or help to make funeral arrangements. 

 

Look to your faith – Should you happen to follow a religious faith, you should embrace the comfort you can garner from its mourning rituals. Any spiritual activity that you find meaningful, such as prayer, meditation, or attending church, can offer you the solace you need. 

 

Join a support group – Even if you have plenty of loved ones around to help you deal with your grief, you can still find dealing with it very lonely. Look up support groups in your area so that you can connect with others that have been through similar experiences. 

 

Talk to a therapist or grief counselor – If you’re dealing with overbearing grief, it’s a good idea to seek professional help. You can either go to an experienced therapist or grief counselor to help you work through your intense emotions and overcome any obstacles that may be getting in the way of your grieving process.

Face your feelings – Whatever you do, you must not attempt to suppress your grief, otherwise you’re never going to be able to overcome it. Face your feelings head on, and keep in mind that unresolved grief can lead to anxiety, substance abuse, depression, and other health problems. 

 

Express your feelings creatively – If you have a journal, write about the loss that you’ve experienced. You could make a scrapbook or photo album in tribute to the person’s life, or get involved in an organization that was dear to their heart. 

 

Look after your health – Although it might be tempting to use some form of substance as a crutch for the emotions you’re feeling, you really should avoid doing so. Get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise, rather than using substances to numb yourself or artificially lift your mood. 

 

Don’t listen to others about how you “should” be feeling – Always keep in mind that your grief is no-one else’s but your own. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s time to move on, or get over it. It’s okay to feel how you feel, regardless of the emotion. 

 

Plan ahead for grief “triggers” – Keep any special days, such as anniversaries, holidays, or milestones in mind because they can reawaken memories and feelings. An emotional “wallop” on these occasions is completely normal, so prepare for it. If you share such a special day with a relative, you should think about collectively honoring the person you loved.

This is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   

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How the Pill Can Affect the Brain

Birth control pills are often seen as a wonder solution for contraception, and they can even help treat acne, severe premenstrual syndrome (PMS), excessive hair growth, and pain from endometriosis. While we are not here to recommend one birth control method over another, like almost any other medication, they do come with negative side effects which those who take them should know everything about. Since these pills affect the body's hormonal balance, they have specific impacts on the brain. 

 

Birth control pills contain a synthetic version of progesterone called "progestin" and a synthetic version of estrogen called "ethinylestradiol." These synthetic hormones affect different brain areas, primarily those responsible for regulating reproductive system functions. 

 

However, the disruption in the reproductive process also leads to changes in signals received by the limbic system and mood, potentially causing depression and anxiety. These pills can even impact cognitive abilities, including memory and attention. If you know someone who is taking the pill or are taking them yourself, this may be very important information for you to have. 

 

Do All Contraceptive Methods Have the Same Impact on the Brain? 

"Different types of birth control pills have various side effects on the brain — some can be more severe and unique than others," says Dr. Hilda Wong from California. Pills that contain both progestin and ethinylestradiol, for example, tend to cause more mood changes than pills that contain only progestin. It's also worth mentioning other contraceptive methods, such as intrauterine devices (IUDs), which have much less impact due to their location in the body. The IUD releases progestin directly into the uterus, instead of passing through the digestive system and bloodstream.

What Do the Studies Say?  

A review of brain imaging studies conducted in 2020 identified changes in areas responsible for cognitive processes in the brain, such as the amygdala, hippocampus, prefrontal cortex, and cingulate gyrus, due to the use of hormonal contraceptives. Additionally, a 2022 study compared the brain structure of 72 people and showed that hormonal contraceptives affect brain areas associated with emotional processing. Specifically, researchers found that participants taking birth control pills were more prone to anger, fear, and disgust than those who were not. 

 

"While the study findings are fascinating, they do not show an absolute cause-and-effect relationship," says Dr. Michael Green, a specialist in treating menopausal women. After all, women taking birth control pills may be more involved in situations that increase experiences of such emotions. Older studies have shown a link between the use of birth control pills and the use of antidepressants and even suicide attempts. Although conducted on a small scale, these studies suggest that such contraceptives may negatively impact mood. Therefore, it is important to be aware of this, especially if you have pre-existing mental health issues.

What Should Be Considered Before Starting Birth Control Pills? 

When weighing the benefits of these pills against the risks they pose to women taking them, the main thing to consider is the reason why you want to start taking birth control pills. Is it for preventing pregnancies? Is it to help deal with premenstrual syndrome? Is it part of treatment for pain from endometriosis? Or perhaps a combination of these reasons? 

 

Dr. Wong says that the answer to this question will help you understand whether you should consider alternatives to birth control pills. For example, there are non-hormonal contraceptives, such as condoms. However, she advises thinking about whether you can stick to the chosen solution. For example, you need to take birth control pills at the same time every day—are you responsible enough to do this properly? There are also birth control shots that need to be taken every three months—can you maintain this?

Is there Anything to be done against the pill's effect on mood? 

If you or someone you know notice mood changes after starting birth control pills, talk to a doctor as soon as possible. It may also help to schedule an appointment with a mental health specialist. "It's important to inform your doctor about your condition and the neurological side effects you are experiencing, so they can determine whether the prescription you received is the best option for you," says Dr. Bassam Zaina from England. Depending on the severity of the symptoms, the doctor may suggest an alternative and provide advice on lifestyle changes that can help balance this effect. 

 

A Few Words in Conclusion 

Studies show that taking birth control pills does indeed affect the brain and may also affect mood. While it's important to be aware of these side effects, it does not mean that all contraceptive methods have the same effect or that they affect every woman in the same way. If you or someone you know feel more anger, anxiety, or depression and are taking birth control pills, it is recommended to consult with your doctor and explore other options with fewer such side effects, and monitor your condition to see if the problem was indeed related to the pills or not. If not, it is advisable to seek help from a mental health specialist.

This is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   

https://gscrochetdesigns.blogspot.com. one can see my crochet creations  
https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com. feel free to view for easy, simple and healthy recipes    
https://kneereplacement-stickclub.blogspot.com. for info on knee replacement
https://cancersupportindia.blogspot.com  for infor on cancer and health related topics
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Stop Waking Up At Night

We've all been there. It's 2am and you are lying in bed, with a big project or a big decision on your mind. With a big day to come, you have to get a decent night's rest. Despite you knowing this, you're still wide awake. You try different strategies for relaxing. Deep breathing, imagining restful mountain scenery, but nothing seems to work. This is all typical speciocentric human thinking. So, if you want a good night's sleep, you need to think more like a zebra or a walrus.

For the vast majority of species on this planet, the most upsetting things in life are acute physical crises. Imagine you are that zebra and a lion has just leaped out and ripped open your stomach. While you've managed to get away, you now need to spend the next hour or so evading the lion as it stalks you. But, a zebra's body physiological response mechanisms are incredibly adapted for dealing with a short-term physical emergency like this, after which it's over with you or you're over with it. 

 

Humans react differently. They lie around and worry about stressful things like mortgages and work, turning on the same physiological responses that gear us up to fight or flee. This is not an ideal state of mind or body to be, especially when you want to get some sleep. So what can you do? A great place to start is to understand your brain when it sleeps. 

 

Sleep is not a monolithic process. There are different types of sleep: shallow sleep, in stages one and two, during which you are easily awakened. After which you have the deep sleep, stages three and four, also known as a slow-wave sleep. During REM sleep, your eyes dart around and dreams happen. Your sleep starts off shallow and you gradually sleep your way down to slow-wave sleep, followed by REM, then back up again. Then repeat the whole cycle, about every 90 minutes.

The brain works differently in different stages of sleep, as indicated in studies whereby people were monitored with a brain scanner, while you measure the levels of activity of different brain regions. During slow-wave sleep, parts of the brain associated with arousal activity slow down. As do brain regions involved in controlling muscle movement. The areas of the brain that first respond to sensory information have somewhat of a metabolic shutdown, which creates a metabolically quiescent sleeping brain. But, a very different picture emerges during REM sleep. Overall, there's an increase in activity. Some brain regions become even more metabolically active than they are when you are awake. There is also increased activity in the limbic system, which is involved in emotion. This is how sleep generally works. But what happens when you are stressed? 

 

 1. No Sleep, More Stress

As we enter into slow-wave sleep, the sympathetic nervous system keeps us 'wired' relinquishing control to the parasympathetic nervous system, producing a calm, vegetative state. This calming effect is reinforced by a decrease in levels of glucocorticoid, or brain fuel. As you're mobilizing energy to generate your dream imagery your eyes move rapidly during REM sleep. At which point glucocorticoid secretion and the sympathetic nervous system rev up again. But because that slow-wave stage makes up most of what counts as a good night's rest, sleep is predominantly a time when the stress response is turned off. Then about an hour before you wake up, levels of certain 'wake up hormones and glucocorticoids begin to rise. This is not because rising stress-hormone levels play a role in terminating sleep.

When you deprive yourself of sleep, the sleep-induced decline in the levels of those stress hormones has no chance to occur. Rather, what happens is that glucocorticoids levels increase and the sympathetic nervous system is activated. During sleep deprivation, the elevated glucocorticoid levels play a role in breaking down some of the stored forms of energy in the brain which could have something to do with why learning and memory are so lousy when you're sleep-deprived.

In a recent study, they tested one way in which our brains become impaired when we try to think hard after we haven't slept. The study conducted tests on a rested subject, using a brain imager, and asked her to add sequences of three-digit numbers, at which point her frontal cortex lights up metabolically. But, when someone was sleep deprived and was given the same math exercise, they aren't as able to solve the problem. And in this case, the frontal cortex appeared to be too groggy to compute. In fact, the opposite occurs: the frontal cortex is activated but so are large parts of the rest of the cortex.

Of course, we're accustomed to all sorts of amenities in our modern lives. Some people must also work under conditions of sleep deprivation, this includes nurses and round-the-clock technical-support staff. But because we are a nocturnal species, if a person works at night or works in shifts, regardless of how many hours of sleep they get, it will still go against their biological nature. When working these sorts of hours, it tends to over-activate the stress response. In fact, it should come as no surprise that night work or shift work increases the risk of cardiovascular disease, gastrointestinal disorders immune suppression and fertility problems. 

 

Sleeping habits have changed. In 1910, the average American slept nine hours a night. We now average 7.5, and that's declining.

2. More Stress, No Sleep

What happens to sleep during stress? The hormone CRH seems to be responsible. It starts the glucocorticoid cascade by stimulating the release of another hormone called ACTH from the pituitary. But it's also the neurotransmitter that activates fear, anxiety, and arousal pathways in the brain. Unsurprisingly, about three out of four cases of insomnia are triggered by a major stressor. Studies have also concluded that poor sleepers tend to have higher levels of sympathetic arousal or of glucocorticoids in their bloodstream. 

 

Maximum stress can do more than minimize sleep. It can compromise the quality of the sleep you manage to get. CRH infusion, for instance, decreases the total amount of sleep by decreasing slow-wave sleep, exactly the type you need for energy restoration. Rather, your sleep cycle is dominated by shallow-sleep stages. 

 

This means that you wake up more easily-fragmented sleep. Even the slow-wave sleep you do get could be disrupted. Ideal slow-wave sleep shows a characteristic pattern in what is called the 'delta power range' which can be detected on an electroencephalogram (EEG) recording. If you are stressed before sleeping, or you are infused with glucocorticoids during sleep, you get less of that helpful sleep pattern during slow-wave sleep.

3. Stress Causes Insomnia which Causes Stress...

This can cause some real problems, as a lack of sleep, or poor-quality sleep activates the stress response and an activated stress response makes for less sleep or lower-quality sleep. Each feeds on the other. In one study, it was suggested that the expectation that you're going to sleep poorly makes you stressed enough to get poor-quality sleep. In the study, one group of volunteers was allowed to sleep for as long as they wanted, which was till around 9 am. But as expected, their stress-hormone levels began to rise at around 8 am. Basically, it would appear that they had enough sleep by about this time and their brains, felt happily restored and re-energized, and knew it. They, therefore, started secreting those stress hormones to prepare to end the sleep. 

 

The second group of volunteers went to sleep at the same time as the first but were told that they would be woken up at 6 am. So, at 5 am, their stress-hormone levels also began to rise. What's important to note here is whether their stress hormones kicked in three hours earlier than those of the other group because they needed three fewer hours of sleep? The answer is no. 

 

The rise was due to stressfulness of anticipating being woken up earlier than desirable. Their brains were feeling that anticipatory stress while sleeping. This demonstrates that a sleeping brain is still a working brain. Too little, continuous, uninterrupted sleep, going to sleep late and getting up early is not good. What's worse? too little sleep that is unpredictably fragmented. You go to sleep with the corrosive knowledge that 5 hours or 5 minutes from now the alarm will go off. 

 

This teaches us a lot about what counts as good sleep and how stress can prevent it. When it comes to what causes physiological stress, a lack of predictability and control in your life are the top things you want to avoid.

This is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   

https://gscrochetdesigns.blogspot.com. one can see my crochet creations  
https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com. feel free to view for easy, simple and healthy recipes    
https://kneereplacement-stickclub.blogspot.com. for info on knee replacement