These 5 words will open thousands of doors for you

Every person is a world. Life at work, in business and even in the family is full of complex relationships, where each person has their own agenda, their own history and particular dimensions.

As we have seen previously, the projects that go ahead are not always the best; And those people who are right are not the ones who win the discussions, because the most important element in a communication process is not the content or the technique but, above all, the relationship and connection.

To be completely clear: your success doesn't just depend on your talents or your ideas; Above all, it depends on you knowing how to forge relationships . Talent and ideas are necessary, but the relationships you form along the way give them direction, direction, power and dimension.

However, in the process of making our projects come true; be it our own businesses or projects in our company, we constantly find:

• Closed doors.
• People in high positions or unreachable.
• Inaccessible uncomfortable people.
• Adversaries or people who do not want us to do well.
• People we would like to address, but we don't know how.

How can we break down social and personal barriers to build bridges with people who can be part of our path?

A powerful phrase

The answer lies in this magical phrase that took me years to discover, and that today I am happy to share with you, hoping it will be useful to you. Remember that with great power comes great responsibility .

The opener phrase is this: Can I ask you for advice?

"Can I ask you for advice?" It is a simple and short phrase; easy to say, remember and repeat. It is a phrase that can be used constantly without losing its validity and, above all, has behind it the power of science to open the doors that until then were closed.

I have used it at different times where it seems to me to be in a dead end; where I lack answers or in which I feel that I need to form a closer relationship with a colleague, a superior, a subordinate and, even, someone who perceives me as his enemy.

After using it for a couple of years - with excellent results - I started recommending it to other people, who also reported their own success stories. Now I am sure that this is one of the most useful phrases in my professional life ... and that it can also be in yours.

It is not about magic, but about communication and science. How does it work?

• To find out more: My business was generating millions a month, but I left it: 'It was dangerous to lead other people the way I was'

1. The Ben Franklin effect

The Ben Franklin effect is a known psychological effect to change the perception that others have of us by allowing them to do us a favor.

Yes, you heard right: let them do you a favor; not you to them.

It is, at first glance, counterintuitive. We may think that, to please, we must "do" favors, but it turns out that when others do us favors, it is proven that their perception of us improves, since considering ourselves worthy of their time and attention forces them to see ourselves in a more favorable light , as valuable and kind people.

They must be favors that are not heavy, annoying or expensive. For example, asking a colleague for a ride or letting him buy us a coffee… and simply thanking him, without making him feel bad and without seeking to pay him immediately. Receive a favor ... and thank you! opens more doors than applause and flattery.

2. An elegant compliment

When asking for advice, the Ben Franklin effect is activated; But that is not all.

On the one hand, a tip is a favor or a service that costs nothing: it is free. Maybe they can deny you -for whatever reason- a ride or a coffee, but who can deny advice? Until now, for many years of using this phrase, I have never encountered someone who refuses to give advice that is asked with kindness and humility.

But there is still more! When it comes to asking for advice, we are asking for a favor as well as making a compliment. We are telling the other person that they are smart, that they are brilliant, that we respect them, and that their opinion is important . It is a gift to your own ego - a gift that no one will stop receiving. People, in general, like to be heard and taken into account.

That is why this phrase is magical. It seems like a favor, but it is also a gift.

3. Let the other shine

It can be personal advice, about work, about a project, or about an important decision. The key is to state the advice simply and clearly and then let the other speak, always respecting the 80/20 rule . When it comes to asking for advice, we are placing the conversation firmly on the other person's court, letting them speak and express their own personality and history.

When you have asked for advice, do not make excuses or explanations. Answer the question they ask you, but soon return the voice to the other person.

A rule of life: everyone likes to talk about themselves. So it will also allow you to get to know him more and forge - without feeling forced - a real human relationship, one of friendship and trust. Without his realizing it ... now they are part of the same team.

4. Peripatetic effect

When we ask another person for advice about something that interests us and we get them to be interested in it, it is possible that due to the effect of mirror neurons , which generate empathy and neural alignment between two people, both can find a solution to a real problem.

In this way, you will not only have strengthened the relationship, but you will also have a practical answer or tangible progress in your project. The best of all? The other person will feel that the idea was theirs - let them take all the credit! - and will defend and promote it with passion.

This is not a manipulative system, but a method of thinking called peripatetic , in which, through questions, we can help other people reach conclusions that they feel as their own . It is widely used in communication and negotiation. It can also be your great ally with the magic phrase.

5. Create real conversations

We waste too much time in innocuous and empty conversations, small talk to fill the time. But how much real conversations are needed! It is impressive what you can discover and achieve if you learn to master the art of conversation .

Nobody asks for advice on worthless things. We ask for advice on things that matter and concern us, that can peek into our privacy or explore big issues. The best friendships are born - says CS Lewis - when one person says to another “How? Do you also think that way? I thought I was the only one! "

Asking for advice is one of the five avenues of wealth in silence and will help you forge business, personal and friendship relationships that will pave the way for a better life.

So now you know. When you find a closed door, the best key is to ask for advice.

This is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   

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A helping hand could help women coping with infertility

Cook her a meal to help with household chores or say ‘I love you’ to reassure her emotionally as infertile women need support, not unsolicited advice. According to research, infertile women want support of all kinds – ranging from practical aid such as help with household chores, to advice and emotional reassurance.
 
‘Infertility is a more prevalent issue than people realise. It affects one in six couples, and in almost all cases, women want more support than they are getting,’ said Keli Steuber, an assistant professor in communication studies at University of Iowa. Lending her a helping hand could be as simple as cooking a meal or connecting your loved one to other women with whom she can share her feelings. 

The study involved more than 300 women who were coping with infertility. Couples who stick together through the infertility experience often have a stronger marital foundation moving forward. ‘If you can find effective, supportive ways to communicate with each other, you are better equipped to handle stress down the road,’ said Andrew High, an assistant professor in communication studies at University of Iowa.

The study appeared in the journal Communication Monographs.

PS- THIS IS ONLY FOR INFORMATION, ALWAYS CONSULT YOU PHYSICIAN BEFORE HAVING ANY PARTICULAR FOOD/ MEDICATION/EXERCISE/OTHER REMEDIES.

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SOME SIMPLE THOUGHTS WORTH READING !

Strong bonding with grandparents eases depression

A new study has claimed that grandparents and grandchildren's strong relationship has significant effects on well being of both, long into grandchildren's adulthood. 

An assistant professor in the Department of Sociology and the Institute on Ageing , who will present the study,  said that they found that an emotionally close grandparent-adult grandchild relationship was associated with fewer symptoms of depression for both generations. 

She said that the greater emotional support grandparents and adult grandchildren received from one another, the better their psychological health. 

The study also revealed that giving tangible support to or receiving it from their grandchildren affected the psychological well-being of grandparents but not grandchildren. 

Tangible support, also called functional solidarity or instrumental support, includes anything from rides to the store and money to assistance with household chores and advice. 

They also said that grandparents who experienced the sharpest increases in depressive symptoms over time received tangible support, but did not give it. 

She asserted that there is a saying that it's better to give than to receive. 

She said that their results support that folk wisdom — if a grandparent gets help, but can't give it, he or she feels badly. 

She explained that the grandparents expect to be able to help their grandchildren, even when their grandchildren are grown, and it's frustrating and depressing for them to instead be dependent on their grandchildren. 

In their study, the researchers used data from the Longitudinal Study of Generations, a survey of 3- and 4-generation U.S. families that included seven waves of data collection between 1985 and 2004. 

The sample was comprised of 376 grandparents and 340 grandchildren. The average grandparent was born in 1917 and the average grandchild in 1963, making them 77 years old and 31 years old, respectively, at the midpoint of the study in 1994.

ps- this is only for information, always consult you physician before having any particular food/ medication/exercise/other remedies.

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How To Lead An Easier Life With Osteoarthritis

Walking
If arthritis is making it harder for you to keep up with daily activities, there are many simple tools that can make your life easier. For walking, options range from specially designed shoe inserts called orthotics to braces, canes, crutches, and even walkers. Be sure to get these fitted by a health care professional. Even a simple cane that isn't the right height may do more harm than good.

Moving Inside the house
Make it easy to get around your home. Keep pathways clear and remove scatter rugs. Add extenders that convert doorknobs to levers, so you can open doors simply by pushing a handle up or down without twisting a knob. Use lamps that turn on and off with a tap to the base or sound-sensitive lamps that work with a clap of your hands. Switch adapters can make it easier to flip on regular lamps and lights.

In the Living Room
Sit in chairs that are easy to get in and out of. If your favorite chair is too low, consider adding risers that adjust its height. Get a remote control with large, easy-to-push buttons. And make sure there are plenty of light sources. Hunching over a book in dim light can strain your joints.

In the Kitchen
Kitchen utensils with padded or moulded handles are much easier to pick up and hold. An electric can opener and fixed jar opener can reduce strain. Using a wheeled cart or even two-handled pots and pans can make it safer to carry items across the room. Reachers -- rods with grasping devices on the end -- work well for grabbing lightweight items. But remember that the long pole makes heavy cans even heavier to lift.

Getting Dressed
Buy slip-on shoes and clothes that close in the front with large buttons, hooks, or Velcro. Button hooks and zipper pulls can help you get dressed. Better yet, buy loose clothes that slip over your head. Shoehorns and sock aids can make it easier to slip on socks and shoes and mean you won't have to bend over to reach your feet.

Using the Shower and Toilet
Installing grab bars in the bathroom is especially important if you have problems with balance. A waterproof tub seat can keep you steady in the shower. Consider a raised toilet seat as well. This will make it easier to get up and down.

At the Sink
You can find many gadgets to help turn water on and off if your faucet is hard to use. Rubber grips can make handles easier to turn and adapters can turn traditional knobs into easy-to-use levers. You can find tools for opening medicine bottles, working tweezers, spraying aerosol cans, and squeezing eye drops. To make brushing easier, make sure your toothbrush has a padded or easy-to-grasp handle.

At Work or in a Home Office
Set up your computer desk so that you're looking straight at your screen, your wrists aren't bent, and there's no strain on your back or legs. You may want a keyboard with extra-large keys if you have arthritis in your hands or fingers. Consider using a headset or earpiece so you don’t have to strain your muscles and joints by holding a phone to your ear. Use a stand to prop up materials when you read or type.

In the Car
Key turners, car door openers, and gas cap wrenches make it easier to use a car when you have arthritis. There are also more permanent fixes, like devices for holding on to the steering wheel. However, talk to an auto expert who specializes in disability adaptations before making changes that could affect the safety of your car.

In the Yard
When you're heading to the garden or working in the yard, look for tools with comfortable grips and handles. Replace old hoses with newer, lightweight ones, and consider a motorized hose reel. Use a gardening kneeler or seat that lets you work on the ground without stooping, or plant your flowers in a raised bed.

Get Advice
Sometimes a simple assistive device or a change in the way you do things can make daily tasks much easier when you have arthritis. Occupational therapists are trained to help you function at your best. Consulting an OT before purchasing new devices -- especially if they are expensive -- may help you sort the gimmicks from the lifesavers.

SOME GOOD THOUGHT

Always welcome the problems
Because problems give you dual advice
First, you know how to solve it
Second, you know how to avoid it in future