Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Life’s 11 Principles, really worth giving a thought to these.

No one in this world lives life exactly like you do. You are unique in that your experiences and choices have shaped you into who you are today, and no one else has been through the exact same experiences. Despite that, there are certain universal truths about life that we cannot deny. You may know some of them, but whether you do or not, it’s good to have a proper list that you can read and share with the people you care about.
1. Growth Is Almost Always Accompanied by Pain
Be patient when you’re going through hardships, because one day that pain you’re experiencing will show its meaning. People who have the power to succeed in the long run are those who have used life’s bricks to lay the foundation for growth. Don’t be afraid to break from time to time, nor to fall apart, because those moments are the ones that will also present you with the best opportunities to grow and rebuild yourself.
2. Only You Know What You’re Capable Of
Unless there’s a person out there who can stare directly into your heart and soul, and see your strength and desires, no one can tell you who you are and what you’re capable of. Others may know what they can and cannot accomplish, but they can’t apply the same standards to you. Furthermore, if you remember and maintain this attitude, you just might surprise yourself.
3. True Beauty Is Internal
Only when you truly know someone, do their physical traits fade away. You begin to feel the person’s energy, recognize their scent and can appreciate their wit. You see that person’s essence and not the envelope it resides in. This is why you cannot fully love someone based solely on their appearance. You may feel desire, or be charmed by a person, but we can only truly love him/her once we get to know them.
4. You’re Always a Student
At every stage in your life you will be presented with new lessons, and will have something new to learn. Every bad experience can teach you how to avoid it in the future, or cope with it if need be. Every good experience can teach you how to preserve it and extend it. As long as you follow your heart and never stop learning life’s lessons, you’ll never become truly old, but evolve and grow.
5. Your Love Creates Your Happiness
Your happiness is a direct result of the love you give the world. When you love, you aspire to be a better person. When you become a better person, everything around you becomes better than how it was in our youth. Love is our teacher: As adults, love is the foundation we must live by. In our old age, love is our sweetest memory. Love creates our happiness.
6. The Respect You Give Is the Respect You Get
You can’t demand respect, nor convince someone to respect you by saying what they want to hear. Respect is earned by listening to others, acknowledging their feelings and respecting them as you would like them to respect you. Be kind and respect everyone, even those who don’t respect you back – not because they deserve it, but because you do.
7. Negativity Is Poison for the Soul
Don’t let negativity and unwanted drama lead you astray from your path of becoming a better person. Focus on the here and now, life is too short and your time is too precious to be wasted on trivial matters. When you decide to put your life on track again, the answers to your questions will present themselves on their own.
8. Your Health Is Your Life
No matter what size and shape it is, your body is the most important tool you’ll ever have. The way you treat your body will directly affect the quality of your life. Exercise to be in shape, not to lose weight. Eat well to nourish your body, not because you’ll be thinner. Go for a jog, a swim, a bike ride – it doesn’t matter, just get some exercise, your body will thank you. A healthy body is an energetic body, and an energetic body is an energized mind.
9. Letting Go Is Part of Moving On
You’ll never get what you truly need if you stay attached to things you ought to let go of. Sometimes we love, then we fight, and then we learn to let go, and that’s perfectly fine. If you want to take your life’s proper course, you need to learn to let go.
10. The Here & Now Is a Gift
It’s not called “the present” for naught. Your whole life has led you to this very moment, right now. Think about it for a second, everything you’ve been through and experienced, every challenge you’ve overcome, every fall you stood up from, all of them have led you to this moment in time. This moment is priceless, so don’t lose it.
11. Your Choices Shape Your Life
Every day, we are presented with choices. We can appreciate what we have, choose to give ourselves time, choose to do something that will make us smile, choose to be excited, choose to laugh, choose to spend time with people who make us feel good, choose to pursue our goals, and more. Make a choice every morning what your day will be like. This choice is the toolbox that will help you live the life of your dreams. Just remember to choose.
 
THIS IS ONLY FOR INFORMATION, ALWAYS CONSULT YOU PHYSICIAN BEFORE HAVING ANY PARTICULAR FOOD/ MEDICATION/EXERCISE/OTHER REMEDIES.                                    PS- THOSE INTERESTED IN RECIPES ARE FREE TO  VIEW MY BLOG-                                                                                           https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com/                                                                                                                                                         FOR INFO ABOUT KNEE REPLACEMENT, YOU CAN VIEW MY BLOG-                                                  https:// kneereplacement-stickclub.blogspot.com/           

                   FOR CROCHET DESIGNS                                                                                                                                                                                                  https://gscrochetdesigns.blogspot.com



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Monday, December 03, 2018

Guide to Childhood Anxiety and Helping Them Cope

No parent likes to see their child sad or frightened, but more and more children in the Western world are now coping with stress and anxiety. For the most part, parents of children who suffer from these feelings are at a loss while at the same time they look for every possible way to help their children cope with this situation, sometimes to no avail. If your children are suffering from anxiety, or you know parents of such children, you should read the following article, which highlights some of the common causes of anxiety, signs the child is suffering and how to cope with it so that you can be the best parent you can be and help them cope.

8 Common Causes of Anxiety in Children:

1. A significant change in the family - One of the main causes of anxiety and depression among children is a significant change in the family - divorce, death, moving, and even birth can undermine your child's peace of mind. Think about these significant changes and understand that they can shake your child’s stability and make them feel insecure, leading to confusion and eventually to anxiety and depression.
2. Parental instability - Another reason many children experience anxiety and depression is parental instability, which means that the parent's life is unstable and as a result, the children's security is undermined. Money, feelings of depression, family turmoil or fighting between parents can cause your children to experience a tremendous sense of helplessness because they want to help, but they don’t have the means to do so, thereby making the road to anxiety and depression very short.
3. Packed schedules - Today most children have packed schedules; From school through to private lessons to spending time with friends, these are just some of the activities that many children take part in. These children tend to run between activities which can cause great stress. Even if they seem happy and enjoy the activity load, in most cases they need occasional quiet and rest.
4. Educational pressure - the school curriculum can be a burden on many children, along with the number of assignments and tests given throughout the year. Therefore, this is one of the causes of stress among many children who are anxious about succeeding in school. Such pressure is most common among teenagers and children who are afraid to make mistakes and fail or be imperfect.


5. Popularity - In today's reality, the need to show off and be seen exists in everyone, even in many children. For the most part, being shunned or even simply not popular can be a major factor of depression in children. As they grow, most of them want to integrate and feel a sense of belonging to a particular group, and this pressure can sometimes be agonizing.
6. Bullying - This common problem affects many children very strongly, especially in the mental-emotional aspect, and sometimes can also cause physical damage. Children who struggle with bullying often feel embarrassed that they are targets, and as a result may hide the abuse from their parents and teachers for fear of drawing attention to themselves and exposing their weaknesses.
7. News - Everywhere in the world there are media outlets that report on various events that happen around the world, and this information, which can sometimes be difficult, is exposed to many children. News headlines and images depicting natural disasters, terrorist attacks, violence, and more can cause anxiety among children. When children see and hear bad news, they may worry that something bad can happen to them or someone they love.
8. A scary film or book - today's movies, television, and literature have become more blunt and speculative, therefore, fiction stories can cause distress or anxiety among some children. Children are often affected by frightening, violent, or disturbing scenes that are shown in a movie or written in a book. Some may even be more sensitive. Try to understand who your child is, how sensitive he/she is, and what scares them, and limit the content they are exposed to based on this knowledge.

Causes, signs, and ways of dealing with anxiety in children:

Physical signs

  • They often complain of headaches or stomachaches, although there is no medical reason behind the pain.
  • Refuse to eat snacks or meals at school.
  • Don't use restrooms other than those at home.
  • They are restless, nervous, hyperactive or distracted.
  • They begin to tremble or sweat in threatening situations.
  • They have constant difficulty falling asleep.
  • Their muscles are tense all the time.

Emotional signs

  • They often cry. 
  • They are overly sensitive.
  • They are angry for no apparent reason.
  • They are afraid to make small mistakes.
  • They suffer from excessive fears (natural disasters, bees, etc.).
  • Worry about what happens in the future.
  • Suffer from recurring nightmares about the loss of a parent or other loved one.
  • Their worries and fears interfere with them having childlike fun.
  • They suffer from tantrums.
  • They are preoccupied with obsessive thoughts or suffering compulsive behaviors (finger tapping, hand washing, etc.).

Behavioral signs

  • They always ask, "What if?"
  • They refrain from participating in class activities, even outside school hours.
  • They are quiet or preoccupied with something while they are supposed to work with others.
  • They Refuse to go to school.
  • They often are alone during recess.
  • They refuse to talk to people in public places. 
  • They constantly ask permission from parents, teachers, and friends.
  • They say, "I can’t " without a real reason. 
  • They find it difficult to part from people who are close to them, even if only for a short time, and they respond to this separation in an exaggerated and unusual way.

7 Ways of coping with parents of children with anxiety

1. Teach children to control anxiety

Not one of us is interested in seeing their child anxious and sad, and the best way to help them overcome it is actually to teach them to control these feelings. Talk to your child about their feelings and the panic attacks they suffer from, try to understand how they begin, their triggers and the symptoms. When you learn to identify them, they can be better controlled. Of course, the beginning will be difficult and the self-control will improve over time and practice.

2. Don’t avoid certain things just because they can trigger your child’s anxiety 

Preventing situations that cause anxiety in children can be an effective short-term solution, however, this won’t help your child develop the coping skills needed to deal with anxiety in the long term. If you constantly come to your child’s rescue when they are faced with something that causes them anxiety, they’ll learn that they have someone that will deal with their anxiety for them. This is why you need to allow your child to experience these situations and teach them how to deal with and soothe panic attacks.

3. Present the situation in a positive but realistic light

You can’t sugar coat your child’s fear and make them believe they’ll never happen. Whether it's failing a test, a visit to the dentist, or bullying, these are things your child really might have to face, and they can be scary, you, however, need to show them that you are confident in the ability to deal with these situations. The intention here is to reassure the children that they will understand that any experience they undergo, good or bad, is temporary and can be controlled. Over time, their level of anxiety will decline and they will rely on the confidence you place on them. 

4. Respect their feelings but don’t empower them

It’s important to understand that respecting their feelings doesn’t mean you are approving or agreeing with them.  If your child is afraid, for example, to go to the doctor because they are scared of shots, don’t undermine this fear, but at the same time don’t increase it. Just listen to your child, be empathic and help them understand why they are afraid, and then encourage them and make them feel that they can conquer their fears. Remember, the message you want to convey is "I know you're scared, it's fine, I'm here and I'm going to help you through this."

5. Don’t ask leading questions

You should encourage your children to talk about their feelings and anxieties, but try not to use leading questions like: "Are you afraid of the test next week?" Or "Are you afraid of visiting the doctor?" To avoid asking them questions that will increase their anxiety just ask them open questions such as: "How do you feel about the test you have next week?"

6. Encourage them to accept their anxieties

You must show your children that you appreciate the effort their putting into coping with the depression and anxiety they experience, which will encourage them to continue to do so until the situation changes. Remember that your children cope with anxiety attacks every day, and with your support, their feelings will improve and eventually they’ll be able to overcome their fears. 

7. Be a role model in dealing with anxiety

The best way to help your children deal with anxiety is by showing them how you deal with it. Children, especially at a young age, absorb much of the behaviors of their environment and especially their parents. If they constantly hear their parents complain and see them unable to cope with their stress and fears they will adopt these same inabilities. We aren’t saying you need to pretend to not have fears or feels stress, but we are saying that you should be exhibiting the correct way to deal with it
Closing words
Every parent wants their child to be happy, so many parents find it difficult to help their children and understand them when they are suffering from anxiety. We believe that thanks to the knowledge you’ve acquired here, you’ll be able to identify signs of anxiety in your children and know how to help them cope with it. In addition, you may want to consider providing your child with professional care, such as therapy.
 

THIS IS ONLY FOR INFORMATION, ALWAYS CONSULT YOU PHYSICIAN BEFORE HAVING ANY PARTICULAR FOOD/ MEDICATION/EXERCISE/OTHER REMEDIES.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        PS- THOSE INTERESTED IN RECIPES ARE FREE TO  VIEW MY BLOG-                                                                                           https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com/                                                                                                                                                                             FOR INFO ABOUT KNEE REPLACEMENT, YOU CAN VIEW MY BLOG-                                                                                                                             https:// kneereplacement-stickclub.blogspot.com/                                                                                       FOR CROCHET DESIGNS                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 https://gscrochetdesigns.blogspot.com

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Friday, June 09, 2017

How to defuse a child’s tantrum with one question

This isn't my story, but by a mother of a tantrum child.

This parenting tip could change the game with your little ones.

I have not read every child psychology book, nor did I take a course on how to avoid/stop/end a child’s tantrum. But because of a personal experience with my 5-year-old daughter, I really want to share a “formula” that I learned recently so that people can change course when kids insist on getting all worked up over something small.

But first, I need to tell you a story. My daughter started kindergarten and she was a little anxious. She kept saying she wasn’t going to be able to keep up. And this behavior ended up unfolding at home: she was increasingly throwing tantrums over anything, even the smallest most meaningless things. On the school’s recommendation, we booked a few sessions with a child psychologist so that the child could talk about what she was feeling in hopes things would calm down.


Among the many tips that psychologist  gave us, there was one that I found fantastic, although it was very simple — and that’s exactly why I feel it’s worth sharing.

The psychologist explained to me that we need to make children feel respected in the sense of acknowledging what they are feeling. And so, at the time of a crisis, whatever the reason for it, we need to help kids (ages 5 and up) think and figure out what is going on with them. When we acknowledge what they are going through, and at the same time make them participate in solving the problem, we can disarm the tantrum.

More objectively: When a tantrum starts — either because the doll’s arm came off, or because it’s time to go to bed, or because the homework did not come out the way she wanted, or because he did not want to do a chore — whatever the reason, we can ask them the following question, looking into their eyes and in a calm voice: “Is this a big problem, a medium problem, or a small problem?” 

For my daughter, those moments of sincerely thinking about what was going on around her have become magical, at least here at home. And every time I ask the question and she answers, we find a way to solve the problem, starting from her perception of where to look for the solution. A small problem is always quick and simple to solve. There are some problems she considers medium. They will most likely be solved, but not at that instant, and she has to understand that there are things that need some time to happen. If a problem is serious — and obviously what is serious from a child’s point-of-view is not something to be dismissed, even though it may seem silly to us — you might need to talk it over more and help her understand that sometimes there are things that do not go exactly the way we want.
 
I can give many examples where I have used this little question recently. During one instance, we were choosing clothes for school. My daughter often makes a big fuss over her outfits, especially when it’s cooler out. To summarize: she wanted to wear her favorite pair of pants but they were in the wash. She started to melt down and I asked, “Alice, is this a big, medium, or small problem?” She looked at me sheepishly and said quietly, “Small.” And I once again explained that we already knew that small problems are easy to solve. I asked for her suggestions on how we would solve that small problem (I learned that it is important to give her time to think and respond) and she said, “Choosing other pants.” And I added, “And you have more than one pair of pants to choose from.” She smiled and went to get another pair of pants. I congratulated her on having solved the problem herself because, of course, valuing the solution is an essential aspect, to finish off the story.

I do not think there are any miraculous solutions for raising children. The other day I was thinking about how it is a real saga, this mission of putting people in the world: going through all the phases, walking along paths that sometimes lead us into an ambush, having the humility to turn back and try another way. In all honesty, this advice comes from my great desire to share a light that appeared on my path as a mother, and I hope from the heart that it will work for you too.


  this is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   
https://gscrochetdesigns.blogspot.com. one can see my crochet creations 
https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com. feel free to view for easy, simple and healthy recipes    
https://kneereplacement-stickclub.blogspot.com. for info on knee replacement
     

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