When People With Depression Function 'Too Well'

A tall, lanky, 20-something guy works hard. Occasionally, plays hard. Loves to fish. He’s on the quiet side, well-liked by his friends. He has had several relationships, but not yet found “the one.” He’s curious about learning, although he didn’t make straight A’s in school. He had to study. But when he gets something, he really gets it.

Now, his boss counts on him to get the job done, and done right.

He lost his best friend several years ago, who was hit by a drunk driver. That’s how I first met him. He was trying to cope with the death of his buddy, and needed help. He got through that, although it was tough.

Depression runs in his family. An uncle died by suicide. His family was traumatized by the near death of his sister, years ago. Everything changed in the family after that, very subtly. But it was never the same. His folks turned their attention to her, and were often critical of his efforts to please. He downplays all this, questioning whether it’s all that important to mention. 

This young man has an ongoing struggle with depression. But you would never have known it. Then he took a risk, and came into therapy.

He’s beginning to recognize depression for what it is, and when it’s affecting his reasoning. He’s catching himself, as he realizes the negative messages he has absorbed. He’s connecting the dots between how he responds to authority, competition, women — and his early childhood experiences. He’s even beginning to open up about it, meeting a guy friend for coffee before work.

“We met around 6:30 at the Stop And Go. We talked about how both of us can get really depressed.”
I was happily — floored.

Two guys. Meeting for an early cup of java. Talking about depression.

These men don’t look depressed to anyone. They’re out there, working their jobs. Getting things accomplished. But they are still searching for the reason why they drink too much, or rarely feel content.

Andrew Solomon, who writes eloquently about depression explains, " The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality".

He is describing classic depression. This is when the smallest of tasks becomes intolerably and irrationally difficult to accomplish. But there is a kind of depression that’s different. People who are out there functioning in life, often extremely well. Like this young man. No one, not even him, sees him as depressed.

Perfectly hidden depression is what it is called.

If classic depression is an absence of vitality, Perfectly Hidden Depression is an absence of self-acceptance. It is unacceptable to a person that they could be depressed. They want to deny the way they truly feel or think — their inner fatigue, the thoughts that they’re not good enough. Sometimes, even, that death will be welcome. He (or she) keeps secret the abuse that he suffered, or other traumas or loss he experienced. He knows it happened, but the impact of it isn’t recognized. The feelings are rigidly stored away in an almost inaccessible place in his mind, left to gather dust and be discounted.
So he hides. He hides behind a job well done or a family that looks perfect. He hides from the stigma that still exists. He exerts tremendous amounts of energy to look great to everyone who knows him, to be outwardly the epitome of success.

This is not only a male problem. Plenty of women do the same thing.

People with classic depression are overwhelmed by the loss or difficulty of their lives. They can’t function, and are lost. People with Perfectly Hidden Depression are overwhelmed by the idea that anyone might find out that they aren’t all that they seem — that the back story of their lives might be discovered. They function far too well. They actively deny the importance of any pain. And carry on.

Therapy is different with these two problems. With classic depression, the goal is to help someone reconnect with their external world — to reengage with their families, their friends and their purpose, to stop the withdrawal and the implosion of their very being, and to ease the misery of thinking that can be filled with self-loathing and hopelessness.

With Perfectly Hidden Depression, the goal is to help someone engage with their inner self — to acknowledge and work through their denial of pain — to aid in a reconnection with how their early experiences affected them, and to reassign their worth, not to what they accomplish, but to their own value. To help them find a way to accept that whatever pain they have doesn’t have to be hidden, but can be explored.

Admitting pain doesn’t make you less of a human being. It makes you human.

If this is you, please risk getting help. Or admitting it to yourself.

It’s worth it. You are worth it.

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Timely prenatal genetic counselling can prevent thalassemia

There are about 40 million carriers of thalassemia in India making it the world’s thalassemia capital. Over 1,00,000 thalassemia majors are under blood transfusion every month. On World Thalassemia Day awareness needs to be created on the fact that prenatal counselling and tests can help in early detection and making informed decisions. Thalassemia refers to a spectrum of genetic blood disorders, involving the absence of or errors in genes responsible for producing haemoglobin. People with this condition produce lesser amounts of healthy haemoglobin throughout their life, and their bone marrow may even stop producing healthy red blood cells after a certain time. Speaking about this, researcher said, “There is a myth that thalassemia is acquired from contact. However, it is an inherited condition, meaning that either one of the parents is a carrier. Ignorance about thalassemia and lack of awareness delays diagnosis due to which people end up transferring faulty genes to their children. Even if there is one parent with traits of thalassemia minor, the chances of having a child with thalassemia minor are about 50%. The probability becomes 25% if both parents are carriers of thalassemia minor. It is imperative to get newborns tested at birth. Women planning to conceive must also undergo tests to detect whether they carry thalassemia traits.”

Some symptoms of thalassemia include weakness, fatigue, slow growth, pale appearance, abnormal swelling, abnormal bone structure (especially on the face and skull), heart problems, and iron overload. Adding his inputs, the Dr. said, “”Indians are still not aware of the importance and necessity for preventive health checkups. Thus, people suffering from genetic disorders such as thalassemia unknowingly pass it on to their children. In pregnant women, prenatal tests help detect this condition before birth. In case one or both the parents have this condition, it is a good idea to consult the doctor to address the risk appropriately. Prevention and early detection are perhaps the most feasible and cost-effective ways to control this disease. The need of the hour is an integrated plan of action including mass screening for carriers before marriage and before conception.” “The government must also make sustained efforts to issue directives that will help make blood transfusion and related drugs and treatment free or low cost for such patients in primary care centres.  As with any other disease, we need immediate policies which can ensure access to genetic counselling and detection right at the outset. There is also a need to ensure that all those with thalassemia have access to the oral chelating drugs. The government also needs to weigh the possibility of making oral chelators free for those who cannot afford them”, added a Dr. Thalassemia usually requires lifelong treatment with blood transfusions and medication. The main treatment methods are: blood transfusions, removing excess iron or chelation therapy, stem cell or bone marrow transplants, and treating other problems. In addition, efforts must also be directed towards motivating gynaecologists and pathologists to ensure that every pregnant woman goes through the HbA2 test before 14 weeks of pregnancy as this can help in the timely diagnosis of thalassemia.

THIS IS ONLY FOR INFORMATION, ALWAYS CONSULT YOU PHYSICIAN BEFORE HAVING ANY PARTICULAR FOOD/ MEDICATION/EXERCISE/OTHER REMEDIES.                                                                                                                                                                                                        PS- THOSE INTERESTED IN RECIPES ARE FREE TO  VIEW MY BLOG-                                                                                           https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com/  

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Doctors in Pune Are All Set to Perform India’s First Womb Transplants

In what’s likely to be a groundbreaking medical procedure conducted in India, Pune’s Galaxy Care Laparoscopy Institute (GCLI) is all set to be the first hospital in the country to conduct uterine transplants.

The hospital has scheduled for three uterine transplants (wherein three women will be given the womb of their mothers so they can themselves bear children) in about three weeks’ of time. These transplants are extremely rare and only 25 of them have been conducted across the world so far (out of this there only 10 known successful post surgery pregnancies).

The first transplant was conducted in 2014 in Sweden.

GCLI medical director and oncosurgeon Dr Shailesh Puntambekar who is heading the team said that one of the women who will be getting a womb has a congenital absence of uterus. He added, “Another one suffers from scarring (adhesion) of the uterus (Asherman’s syndrome) and the other woman’s uterus was removed due to cancer three years ago. The donors are their own mothers and the first transplants are going to be conducted for free.”

In order to prepare for these path-breaking surgeries, the team trained in Germany and in the United States. They also learnt the protocol from the Swedish team that first conducted this transplant successfully. The hospital is also working closely with the Dr Mats Bronnstrom of the University of Gothenburg in Sweden, considered the pioneer in this field.

Currently, there is another centre in India, the Milann-International Institute for Training and Research in Reproductive Health in Bengaluru, that has also gotten the permission to conduct these transplants on two women but given the scheduling, GCLI is most likely to conduct the procedure first.

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