The 9 Signs of Hidden Depression
Depression, as many already know, is a very serious disorder that
completely disrupts one’s daily routine, and is recognized as a clinical
disorder by all professionals. However, there is still a negative
social taboo surrounding depression, which causes those who have it -
and there are quite a few who do - to try to hide it, instead of
involving the people close to them in order to try to find a solution.
With the following 9 signs, you can identify when others - your
relatives, friends or family - are trying to hide depression, and it is
important that you recognize them because only then can you provide them
with the help they need.
9 Signs that a person is dealing with hidden depression
1. They tend to speak "philosophically"
People suffering from repressed depression tend to talk a lot about
philosophical issues and are dragged into talking in abstract sentences,
in ways you haven’t noticed before. Suddenly, every little conversation
with them takes a turn toward talking about the meaning of life. They
speak sentences that aren’t entirely clear when one can understand that
they are searching for the meaning of life and tend toward
"self-flagellation" in a different and more dramatic way than usual.
Raising subjects of conversation such as life and death, the burden of
life and the burden they take upon themselves, should definitely raise a
red flag and make you understand that the person sitting in front of
you is depressed.
2. Distancing and constantly seeking excuses
People who develop hidden depression tend to look for excuses to hide
their true feelings and the sadness they suffer from and put on a “mask”
of happiness so that others don’t sense their hurting. In most cases,
the more time you spend with a person who is hiding their depression the
more clear it will become that they are depressed. Therefore, people
who don’t want others to know about their feelings, tend to distance
themselves and spend less time with others, as well as invent different
excuses to avoid social events.
3. Psychosomatic disorders
People who develop depression tend to complain of heart pain, pressure
in the legs and hands, difficulty breathing, headaches, and toothaches
and other such clinical symptoms. Usually, when such people are
examined, their physical and health condition is found to be perfectly
normal. This unexplained sensitivity and these feelings of pain indicate
an unstable inner state and the development of psychosomatic disorders -
disorders caused by mental factors. There is a rather vicious cycle of
depression that leads to physical pains that cause it to worsen until
things become clearer and one understands that the person is depressed.
4. Sloppy appearance
A depressive mood tends to affect a person’s appearance, whether or not
they want it to. If someone around you stops suddenly keeping the most
basic rules of hygiene, doesn’t keep their house clean, goes out with
inappropriate clothing and generally, their appearance seems grossly
sloppy - even if their overall behavior isn’t indicative if depression -
you still have reason to question whether or not everything is okay.
5. Have difficulty controlling their emotions and don’t react
appropriately to situations
People who disguise their depression are more exposed than others to emotional influences on their normal behavior, and this is certainly reflected in their daily conduct. For example, you can notice that a person who doesn’t usually get teary from movies suddenly bursts into tears from just about anything, or alternatively a person who doesn’t get annoyed much suddenly swears rudely and is overcome with road rage when driving. Conversely, things can go the other way: the depressed can become apathetic, stop expressing their opinions and wishes, suddenly agree with everything they have been told, don’t respond when insulted, and so on and so forth, this behavior should put up a red flag.
6. Demonstration of excessive happiness
Another sign of hidden depression that is related to the inability to
respond appropriately to different situations is the attempt by people
who have it to hide their true feeling behind a mask of positivity,
sometimes even overly exaggerated. As a rule, those who try hard to hide
depression tend to look happy and carefree, but they do so in such a
way that it's easy to see that things aren’t as they seem and that they
are actually hiding bad feelings.
7. They often “chew the mental cud”
When people are depressed, they tend to become obsessed with certain things. For example, in the search for solutions to their predicament, they begin to take on obsessive-compulsive thoughts, creating the illusion that these repeated reflections are the way to find the answer, although in practice they have no real answer. It is not difficult to notice that a friend or person close to you “chews the mental cud”: they often ponder out loud, their mind is distracted and they keep talking about the same problem, but don’t try to act on a solution at all .
8. A sense of continuous exhaustion
One of the most common symptoms of depression is the feeling of
prolonged exhaustion, and when a person tries to disguise their
depression, this feeling is only exacerbated. Although not everyone who
is coping with this disorder suffers from fatigue, it is a very common
issue, which challenges many people who suffer from depression and try
to hide it. If you notice that someone close to you finds it difficult
to cope with routine tasks, forgets information, gets tired easily, even
if they sleep well at night, you should try to find out if there’s
something deeper going on.
9. Development of irregular eating habits
Irregular eating habits develop in a person coping with depression for two main reasons: as a form of coping with the problem, or as a side effect associated with a lack of self-concern, as in the section on sloppy appearance. Overeating or lack of eating are obvious symptoms of depression, which should be noticed. Overeating is often linked to a person's desire to be filled somehow from the inside, and thus make themselves happy with something external, while non-eating may indicate feelings such as lack of desire and interest.
How to help a person that has developed hidden depression
If you notice that one of your loved ones or someone close to you has
developed one or more of the symptoms that we mentioned here, the best
solution is to talk to them first and offer help, try to talk about the
things that are bothering them and remove the masks. In such a
conversation it is important not to try to minimize the value of the
person's problems or joke about them in order to ease the situation, but
take them seriously - try to genuinely help them, by really touching on
the problems they’re dealing with and not with empty words like "cheer
up," “just relax,” or “stop acting like that." In any case, if the
person in front of you refuses to talk, don’t try to force them, but
keep an eye on their behavior. Be attentive, and let the person dealing
with the problem feel that you are here for them.