How To Deal With Selfish People

8 Signs of a Selfish Person:

 

1. They believe they deserve special treatment.

Selfish people often believe that they're better than everyone else, and just love being the center of attention. They think that they should be given special attention, and can't stand being ignored. They have no trouble asking you for a favor of any size, even if they hardly know you. 

2. They view you as a detail.

A selfish person will rarely thank you for anything, and when they do they tend to sound insincere. Even though they have no trouble asking you for favors, they usually don't like reciprocating. They'll often come up with excuses or try to postpone the favor for as long as possible. Sometimes, they may even act like you never even asked.

3. They make shady plans.

Canceling plans at the last minute, along with a string of lame excuses, are what selfish people are renowned for. They may have found something 'better' to do, or someone 'better' to meet. They probably think that their excuses are perfectly understandable, even though they rarely are.

4. They find you boring.

Another sign of a selfish person is that they never really take the time to try and understand you. For them, a conversation is primarily a means of asserting dominance, and as a result they'll often interrupt you or downplay the importance of things you have to say.

5. They hide their 'Black Hole' characteristics.

It's quite possible that a selfish person is aware of their character flaws, and acknowledges that they may cause their relationships to suffer. That's why they often go to great lengths to act polite, cordial, and interested in what you do. Don't be fooled however, as this is only to draw you in, and they always show their true colors before long.

6. They aren't aware of their selfishness.

It's also quite possible for a selfish person to be more-or-less unaware of what they do. They may rationalize their selfish actions by saying that they did something for the greater good, yet the negative consequences of their actions never seem to affect themselves as much as they affect others.

7. Their ego is unbearably dominant.

Ego has a crucial role to play when it comes to selfish behavior. Self-centered people only care about how things affect their own lives, while paying little attention to the needs and desires of others. A common example of this is the mother that claims a child has abandoned her by choosing to work or study abroad.

8. They rob you of your confidence.
Selfish people criticize and degrade others in order to feel superior. They usually act controlling when with friends, family, or even colleagues, and as a result spending time with one will often drain you mentally and emotionally.

How to Deal With a Selfish Person:

1. Understand where they're coming from.

By understanding what motivates their negative behavior, you should be able to make dealing with them a lot easier. Are they simply being cruel and inconsiderate, or does their selfishness stem from fear or anxiety? Gathering insight about the root cause of their selfishness will help you respond in a way which doesn't aggravate the situation.

2. Don't take it personally.
Even if selfish behavior makes you tremble with rage, you should always try your best not to take it personally. Always keep in mind that a selfish person is somebody with a persistent underlying problem. If they question a decision that you believe is right, then it's probably because they're thinking of how it will impact them, and aren't taking your thoughts and feelings into consideration.

3. Avoid being defensive.

Try not to get defensive when a selfish person criticizes you. Take everything they say with a pinch of salt, and treat them as yet another uncredible source. Getting mad will only make things worse.

4. Realize that selfishness is healthy sometimes.
Once in a while, it's good to be a bit selfish and do something for yourself. Constantly working for and supporting others can be draining, and can also set you up to be abused. The biggest issue arises when selfishness is not just an necessary escape, but becomes an entire way of life.

5. Set boundaries. In order to protect yourself from selfish people, you need to set distinctly identifiable boundaries. Speak up for yourself as soon as you feel uncomfortable, and keep in mind that people are more likely to act selfishly if you let them keep getting away with it.

6. Don't feed their selfishness.

If you have to deal with a selfish person on a daily basis, the last thing you want is to be actively making their flaws worse. Never praise or reward them for anything they obtained selfishly, and never give in to their selfish demands.

7. Retain your own personality.
You should never change for anybody but yourself, and this is especially true when it comes to dealing with self-centered people. If you do, what's to keep them from walking away from you, leaving you permanently changed for the worse? Concentrate on your own value, and spend time with people whose positivity will rub off on you.

8. Be patient.

Always try to remain calm, and avoid overreacting. A lot of selfish individuals have undergone past experiences which have caused them to develop dysfunctional self-preservation techniques. By viewing them with compassion instead of contempt, you can continue to hold them accountable for their actions, without aggravating the situation.

9. Decide if they're worth keeping in your life.
If the person in question is a family member then this decision will be incredibly tough to take, yet in extreme cases it may be for the best. If this person is reducing your quality of life, and you've tried everything else in this guide, then cutting all contact might be the only way forward.

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SOME TIPS TO FEEL HEALTHY

Life can begin at 50/60/70/80/90 or older, It is all in your hands and minds!  Many people feel unhappy, health-wise and security-wise, after 50/60 years of age owing to the diminishing importance given to them and their opinions. But it need not be so, if only we understand the basic principles of life and follow them scrupulously. Here are ten points to age gracefully, make life after retirement pleasant, enjoy and treasure the elders years of wisdom and intelligence at its best.  1. Never say ‘I am aged':  There are three ages, chronological, biological, and psychological. The first is calculated based on our date of birth; the second is determined by the health conditions and the third is how old you feel you are. While we don't have control over the first, we can take care of our health with good diet, exercise and a cheerful attitude. A positive attitude and optimistic thinking can reverse the third age.  2. Health is wealth:  Taking care of yourself and your health should be your priority. Thus, you will not be a burden to anyone. Have an annual health check-up and take the prescribed medicines regularly. Do take health insurance cover.  3. Money is important:  Money is essential for meeting the basic necessities of life! , keeping good health and earning family respect and security. Don't spend beyond your means even for your children. You have lived for them all through and it is time you enjoyed a harmonious life with your spouse. If your children are grateful and they take care of you, you are blessed. But never take it for granted.  4. Relaxation and recreation:  The most relaxing and recreating forces are a healthy religious attitude, good sleep, music and laughter. Have faith in God, learn to sleep well, love good music and see the funny side of life.  5. Time is precious:  It is almost like holding a horse's reins. When they are in your hands, you can control them. Imagine that every day you are born again. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is ready cash — use it profitably. Live this moment.  6. Change is the only permanent thing:  We should accept change — it is inevitable. The only way to make sense out of change is to join the dance. Change has brought about many pleasant things. We should be happy that our children are blessed.  7. Enlightened selfishness:  All of us are basically selfish. Whatever we do, we expect something in return. We should definitely be grateful to those who stood by us. But our focus should be on the internal satisfaction and happiness we derive by doing good to others, without expecting anything in return.  8. Forget and forgive:  Don't be bothered too much about others' mistakes. We are not spiritual enough to show our other cheek when we are slapped in one. But for the sake of our own health and happiness, let us forgive and forget them. Otherwise, we will be only increasing our BP.  9. Everything has a reason. A purpose:  Take life as it comes. Accept yourself as you are and also accept others for what they are. Everybody is unique and right in his own way.  10. Overcome the fear of death:  We all know that one day we have to leave this world. Still we are afraid of death. We think that our spouse and children will be unable to withstand our loss. But the truth is no one is going to die for you; they may be depressed for some time. Time heals everything and they will carry on.

Regardless How Far The Journey Is OR How Capable We Are, We Do Our Best To Reach Our Goal. This Is Perseverance At Its Best .... Anonymous