10 Useful Tips to Derive Pleasure from Everyday Things

One of the hardest things about modern life is the creeping sense of banality, that every day is exactly the same, as you wake up at the same hour, go through the same motions, stand in the same traffic jam and do the same work. There is something extremely dehumanizing in this repetitive routine, but the trick to taking your humanity back is in understanding that things are not the same, and it’s up to you to spot the difference. Here’s how:

1. Savour Food

For thousands of years now, food hasn’t just been a matter of sustenance for us, humans, rather a culinary experience. Though we eat because we must, we also eat because we enjoy food. Commit to the pleasure food brings you. Let it roll around your palate before you chew it and swallow it down. Consider every bite and how it makes you feel. Eating this way, you will also feel fuller because you’ve extracted the most in terms of experience out of your meal. 

 

2. Seek the Beautiful Wherever You Are

 

Look around with your own private camera and seek the most beautiful thing in the frame, no matter where you are. The beautiful can be an object, a plant, an animal or a person, but it can also be a particular composition, the way the light falls on something, a pleasant color scheme, etc. 

 

3. Ponder the Mundane

Think about the most trivial things and ask yourself questions about them; why is that town named that way, and who gave it that name? Why don’t grown men wear shorts? What do insects look like when they sleep, and why have I never seen one asleep? This is a great way to foster curiosity. 

 

4. Ask Yourself How You’re Feeling

Look inwardly at your thoughts and emotions and try to observe them without judgment. Have a conversation with yourself (not out loud!) about the things that are bugging you and try to resolve them by giving yourself good advice. Heck, if you can help other people out, why shouldn't you be able to help yourself?

5. Walk more

This isn’t just a matter of health and sports (though walking is almost never a bad idea), it’s about being present in the environment without the boundaries of glass panes. If you need to get somewhere by car or public transportation, get off a short walk away and travel the rest of the way by foot. 

 

6. Look for Reasons to Laugh

 

Is it all a joke to you? Well, it should be, because as we all know, laughter is good for you. Look at all of the occurrences around you and find what’s amusing, ridiculous, absurd or hilarious about them, and laugh out loud and heartily (just not at people).  

 

7. Engage in Conversations

Seek meaningful (if fleeting) connection with people, be they strangers or coworkers that you aren’t so familiar with. Look at small-talk as an opportunity to latch onto a small detail which will form the basis of your conversation. Actively listen to the stories people are telling you and let them lead. 

 

8. Enjoy the Way

The road isn’t an inconvenience on your way from point A to B. It’s the world. Pay attention to traffic, but also appreciate the weather, the view, the music on the radio. Being in a rush while in a traffic jam won’t help much, so forget about time and frustration and focus on the things you can see and feel that bring you joy. 

 

9. Share in Your Joy

Tell the people you love about those things that brought joy to your heart, make them laugh, make them reconsider those things they believe are tedious and boring, translate your joy into play and dare to be a little bit childish. Shine a bright light into your social circles. 

 

10. Listen to Your Body

Eat if you’re hungry, but stop when you’re full. If your muscles feel sore, stretch them out. If you’re tired, take a short rest. Disregard the internal voices that are saying you aren’t making good use of your time by listening to your body's needs. Jobs, chores, assignments- everything comes second to your body.

This is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   

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How to Say the Unsayable: Ways to Approach a Sensitive, Daunting Conversation

There’s a conversation you’re avoiding. It feels important, the stakes are high, there are strong feelings involved and you are putting it off: “The time isn’t right”; “I can’t find the words”; “I don’t want to get emotional”.

But delaying doesn’t solve anything and anticipation is often far more uncomfortable than the conversation itself. Getting started might involve some awkward moments, but, after that, the situation is open for discussion and exploration.

Tried and tested approaches can help to smooth the way. Here are 10 useful tips from my experience as a psychotherapist and , developed while working in some of the highest-stakes discussions – the tender conversations taking place as people face the end of life. These principles apply whether you are chatting in person, over the phone or during a video call. You can even use them in text message conversations.

Instead of “difficult” conversations, I call them “tender” – and that attitude can make all the difference.

Invite, Don’t Insist

Make sure the conversation is a shared endeavour by starting with an invitation, rather than launching straight in. Try something like: “I’ve got something on my mind I’d like to chat about. When would be a good time for you?” or “You seem worried about something and I wondered whether you’d like to talk about it some time?” They may agree to talk there and then. If there’s a delay, check you are not leaving them anxious about the discussion. Inviting the other person allows them to consider and to prepare.

Being prepared also applies if someone catches you off-guard: it’s fine to say, “This is really important and I need some time to think before we have this conversation.”

Pace Yourself

Important conversations can go wrong if participants talk themselves to exhaustion. Plan to chat for 10 minutes, or agree to press pause at a particular point, ready to return to the conversation later. Remember, too, that sick or recently bereaved people have limited energy.

When you reach a good stopping point, say something like: “There’s lots to talk about. Shall we leave it there and chat again tomorrow/next week?”

Listen to Understand

The most effective discussions are when we listen carefully to the other person and try to understand. Instead of working out what to say next while the other person is speaking, just listen. Have you listened well enough to say it back to them? Check your understanding by repeating what you heard with empathy, starting with something like: “Have I got this right? You feel …”

Repeating their viewpoint back also helps the other person to feel heard and respected. In conversations about disagreement, try to present the most positive aspects of the other person’s view: it helps both of you to find common ground.

Be Curious, Not Opinionated

What is the person you are speaking to telling you that you didn’t know before? How do they see the situation? How are they feeling? Use your curiosity to ask questions about their ideas, hopes and fears. Teenagers, in particular, often feel misunderstood and “talked at” rather than listened-to, but demonstrating genuine curiosity can help them to explore their own experiences.

Don’t be afraid to ask whether a distressed person feels safe: this question can unlock conversations about escalating tensions at home, school or work, fear of (or actual) abuse, thoughts of self-harm, worries about a terminal illness etc. Talking about these fears won’t make them a reality, and it may also encourage someone to access more specialist support.

Give Unwelcome News Gradually

Rather than causing shock by blurting out news that is unexpected, begin by giving the background or (often better) by asking the other person to tell “the story so far”. For example, you could say: “I want to talk about Mum’s health. Tell me how you think she’s been recently … ”. That initial recap creates a space where the new, unwelcome information is less unexpected. Now you can add the bad news, beginning with: “I’m sorry to tell you … ”

Even if you are to blame in some way for the unwelcome news – such as in a breakup, for example – a stepwise approach to confessing bad behaviour or even ending a relationship gives the other person an opportunity to anticipate the information and manage their response to it.

Sit With Distress Without Trying to ‘Make It Better’

It’s not a bad thing if strong emotions are expressed during a difficult discussion: don’t try to close them down by offering reassurance or advice. Be a quiet companion to those in distress; if they cry or rage, or fall helplessly silent, stay present and validate what they feel. Useful phrases include: “It’s OK to feel like this”, “I’m sorry this is so upsetting” or “I’m glad you can talk about this with me”.

A condolence visit may involve listening to sorrows and “what-ifs”. A sick relative may want to discuss end-of-life wishes or regrets. Your attention is far more helpful than platitudes. Respect the fact that some things cannot be made better.

Don’t Interrupt the Silence

Silence is often where we do our thinking. We can support someone without interrupting their flow of thoughts by saying simple phrases that show we are maintaining attention: “Take your time”; “I’m not in a hurry”; “This needs some thought”. This is especially helpful when you can’t see each other – for example, during a phone call.

Respecting silence can be a challenge if there are several people in the conversation. You may need to be explicit, saying: “Let’s give each other time to think” or “I think we need a moment of quiet now”.

Support, Don’t ‘Fix’

We can disempower people by taking over – but if the solution was easy, they would have solved their difficulty by now. Instead of proposing ways to fix a problem, ask instead what solutions they have considered or what they would advise someone else in their situation to do. It’s surprising how often a person feeling completely stuck can tell you the great advice they would give a friend in the same position.

End on a Positive Note

Giving a time warning is helpful if you know one or other of you needs to finish the discussion soon. “Thank you” is a good note to finish on: even in a disagreement, giving thanks for their honesty and time shows appreciation and respect. Your disagreement need not become a ruptured relationship.

Look After Yourself

If you are left feeling unsettled by a conversation, remember to treat yourself kindly. Some people take five minutes to walk outdoors or to focus on their breathing. These “mindful moments” help us to recentre ourselves. Confidential debriefing with someone else can also be a helpful practice.

Don’t pick up the other person’s burden: the solution is for them to find, but compassionate conversation can help others to process their experiences. That is often help enough.

This is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   

https://gscrochetdesigns.blogspot.com. one can see my crochet creations  
https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com. feel free to view for easy, simple and healthy recipes    
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