This is How You Can Cope With the Negativity in Your Life

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

 

You may interact with negative people daily, be they friends, family members, a partner, or a colleague. You love them, you care about them, you can't just cut them out of your life, but they are negative and their negativity is eating away at you. What can you do? 

 

The best way of dealing with life's challenges is to take a good look at ourselves and take responsibility for what we think, feel and do.

1. Give up the need to complain  

Make sure you are taking responsibility for your feelings and mood. Don't go complaining that other people's negativity is affecting you, because it will only create more negativity. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings and see what you can do to make yourself feel better and change the existing situation. 

 

 "Whoever has limited knowledge of human nature and seeks happiness by changing everything but his own attitude, will waste his life in futile efforts." - Samuel Johnson 

 

 

 

2. Similarity Attracts 

Good brings about good, bad brings about bad, and whether we want to or not, we pull into our lives events, situations and people that reflect our internal state. Ask yourself: "How am I feeling? Am I happy, excited, thankful and calm? Or am I anxious, frustrated and judgmental?"

 

 You may find that you radiate misery to the environment and that part of the negative energy surrounding you is in fact a reflection of yourself.

3. Don't believe everything you think 

This is definitely one of the hardest things to learn. Look closely at the negative people in your life. What is it about them that gets you going? What affects you so much? Is what they are doing really that bad or is your brain playing games with you? 

 

Remember, the brain is configured to look for trouble, and it focuses on other's negative qualities. It'll be very hard to get it to see the positive side of things, but it doesn't mean there isn't one. 

 

 

4. Focus  

Ask yourself: "Am I ready to find the good in these people? Am I able to see their good qualities?" Let the answers come naturally, and make sure you are being honest with yourself.

 

If you feel like you're insistent and won't change the way you are looking at people and situations, don't give yourself a hard time. This takes time and patience, and when you are ready, you'll take this step. Remember, we all have good in us. 

 

 "It's so hard when I NEED to do it and so easy when I WANT to do it." - Annie Gottlier 

 

 

 5. Don't make their problems YOUR problems 

For their sake and yours, make sure you are not adopting their problems and becoming negative about them yourself. If you want to cure negativity, sliding down right along with the negative person won't help, it will just make it worse by validating their thought and behavioral patterns. Rather, focus on solutions, not problems. Offer that and nothing else.

6. Take Ownership

Instead of being a victim and judge, you need to take full responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, and take a different approach. 

 

"Everything that annoys us in others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung. 

 

 Don't waste your time obsessing and thinking: "They are ruining my energy, making me miserable, their negative energy is infecting my own..." Instead, say to yourself: "How can I use this to my advantage? Is there something I'm doing wrong? How can I improve the situation and increase my positive energy to be stronger than their negative energy? What do I learn from all of this?" 

 

 

7. Come with your own positive energy 

 Focusing on negative energy cannot create positive energy, and the other way around is also true. Focus on making yourself happy, enough that you have great positive energy, and you will see the negativity cringing away from it. 

 

Remember, energy is contagious! 

 How to put up positive energy? Focus on the things you like about the negative people, focus on things you love about yourselves, life, and the world around you. Think of loved ones, of things that make you happy. That way, you will increase the positive energy exponentially. 

 

If you incur negative energy by thinking about bad things, the opposite is also true, and you'll be able to hopefully 'wake up' your fellow workers. You can't focus on both of them at the same time, so choose one - happiness or misery. 

 

 

8. Be part of the change you'd like to see 

The world is no more than a reflection of who we are, deep inside. Try to go for a feeling of well-being, to live a positive life, a merry life, one that has love, trust, and the pursuit of happiness. We cannot change others, but only ourselves. This is the only way to change the world. 

 

Think of it this way: When you are happy, the world seems happy, and the sky is open and blue. When you are sad, the world seems sad as well, and the sky is grey and uncaring, leaving you alone to deal with your pain. 

 

 Flow with life events, don't resist them, live in harmony and be the change you wish to see in the world. 

 

"Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never overestimate your power to change others." - Wayne W. Dyer

9. Awareness and acceptance

Work on understanding life's inevitable duality - accept the negative with the good. Don't harp on people's negativity, don't judge or fight them. Let them be, look and accept. Remember, your world is no more real than a reflection of who you are, deep inside. Don't try to bring everyone into your own world, accept theirs as no less real than yours, and their point of view as no less valid. 

 

The hardest part of acceptance is accepting that, sometimes, some people cannot be changed. Their negativity is something they will defend to the last drop. Not because it gives them pleasure, but because they think it is a natural part of themselves. 

 

Even though it's never too late to try and change that point of view, some never will. It's up to you to either accept their negativity and react accordingly, or take your distance from them. This is especially hard when it is someone we love. 

 

 "Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of others." - Carl Jung 

 

 

10. Move forward 

Dealing with negativity and trying your best to dispel it can be exhausting, and at some point, you have to move on with your life in a positive way. Find a path that allows you to go on with your life without the negativity of others, but also, without the regret that leaving a loved one or friend behind may cause you. 

 

 Make your feelings known to them, make them understand they are hard to be around, and slowly decrease your contact. If they want you to stay in their lives, they will be forced to at least pretend to be less negative, and pretending is the first step to actually becoming less negative. The more we act a certain way, the more we believe in it.

This is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   

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A neuroscientist shares the brain exercise she does for a stronger memory — and the mistake that can ‘harm’ it

Memory can be tricky. We assume that we’ll remember much more than we actually do. Then we run up against a moment of struggle, failing to pinpoint specific details of an event we’ve experienced, and we wonder how much of our lives we are fully taking in.

You might make a mistake because something you know doesn’t surface in the moment you need it; you have a frustrating, fuzzy sense of I should know that. Why does our ability to “record” sometimes fail us, and what can we do about it?

Training your brain to remember better requires focus

What we think is a memory problem is often actually an attention problem. As a neuroscientist and professor of psychology who studies attention, I’ve found that there are three critical things you must do to successfully remember something:

1. Rehearsal

Use your attention to trace over the information — the name you just heard as a new colleague introduced herself; the most important facts from the work training you’re in; the details of a fun experience you just had. 

In school, when you studied with flash cards, that was a rehearsal; when you review the nuances of a joyful moment (e.g., a family wedding — the toasts, the taste of the cake) or a painful one, that, too, is rehearsal.  

2. Elaboration

Elaboration involves using attention to link new experiences or information to knowledge or memories you already have. You can store much richer memories by elaborating in this way.  

Example: Picture an octopus. Now I tell you: an octopus has three hearts. If you didn’t already know that, you are — as you read this — tethering on that new knowledge to that existing image you have of an octopus. 

The next time you see one or a video of one, you might suddenly remember, turn to the person next to you, and say, “Did you know that an octopus has three hearts?”

3. Consolidation

The two processes mentioned above support initial memory formation. But to go from these initial stages to the storage of information in a more durable form over an extended period, known as long-term memory, requires consolidation.  

This involves forming connections between specific sets of neurons that code elements of the memory by replaying targeted brain activity. Repeated replays solidify the long-term memory trace.

Being too task-focused can harm our memory and creativity

At the grocery store, you fill your cart and head to the checkout line and pull out your phone. There’s a work email and a personal one — you read both, then start drafting a response to the work email.

A notification pings and you click it. The draft email autosaves and you swipe over to Twitter, where someone replied to something you tweeted earlier. You want to be supportive, so you retweet it. A news article catches your eye and you tap it. 

You’re halfway through skimming the article when the cashier announces your total, loading plastic bags into your cart — as the eco-friendly canvas bags you brought are still tucked under your arm. 

Sound familiar? We live busy lives, so the urge to pack as much as possible into every pocket of time is intense. If you didn’t draft that work email while standing in line, you would’ve had to do it later, when you could have been doing ... something else.

And this downtime has another important benefit, too: It supports memory consolidation.

We value and prioritize being continuously task-focused. And we don’t see mental downtime — when we purposefully disengage from finding, gripping and tightly directing our attention to some occupying task — as a valuable thing to do. And why should we? If focusing our attention, as well as using it to rehearse and elaborate supports successful memory, why shouldn’t we aim for all focus all the time? 

Consider your direct experience for a moment. Have you ever had a great idea in the shower? Perhaps it wasn’t because the shampoo’s scent inspired you. It’s that the shower forced mental downtime. You couldn’t take your phone or computer in there. You were trapped in that small, wet box with nothing demanding your attention.

Task-free downtime can lead to some of our most creative, generative moments — novel connections are made, new ideas are born, daydreams may appear that are not only satisfying, but also personally or professionally supportive. And this downtime has another important benefit, too: It supports memory consolidation. 

So remember to pay attention when you want to remember, but also let the mind roam free more often — to remember better!  

Dr. Amishi Jha is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami and the author of “Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day.” She serves as the Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative, which she co-founded in 2010. Dr. Jha’s work has been featured at NATO, the World Economic Forum and The Pentagon. She has received coverage in The New York Times, NPR and Time.

 

This is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   

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https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com. feel free to view for easy, simple and healthy recipes  

 

Top highlight 12 Smart Micro-Habits To Increase Your Daily Productivity

Increasing your productivity doesn’t have to be rocket science. No need for complicated productivity systems, new apps, or Navy SEAL-level habits. Some of the simplest actions and micro-habits can have the biggest payoff in mental focus, energy, and overall productivity.

That’s why, in this article, I’ll share 12 micro-habits you can easily apply daily to get more done and work smarter.

Plan Your Day The Night Before

Proper planning prevents poor performance. Therefore, as part of my evening routine, I always plan the next day in great detail using my productivity planner. This one practice has at least tripled my daily productivity.

As part of my planning practice, I make a list of all the tasks I want to complete, rank them based on priority (the more a task moves the needle forward to my long-term goals, the higher its priority), and use time-blocking to create a schedule for the day.

I prefer planning my day the night before instead of in the morning. By doing so, I know exactly what needs to be done from the moment I wake up — and I can focus all my energy on executing the plan instead of still having to make the plan.

Review Your Long-Term Goals Daily

The most common reason people fail to achieve their goals is stupidly simple: They forget about them. When you lack a system to keep your goals top of mind, they’ll slowly fade away due to the busyness of life.

To avoid this, I recommend reviewing your long-term goals every single morning — before you start working. This way, your goals stay at the top of your mind and you stay focused on them.

Besides, it will help you purposefully plan and design your days so that you’ll actually make progress towards your long-term goals instead of merely reacting to the busyness of the day.

Identify Your Top 3 Daily Targets

One of the simplest but most effective habits to increase your productivity is to identify your top 3 targets for the day. When you clearly identify your priorities, your entire day will be much more focused and purposeful.

So, before the workday begins, take one minute and ask yourself the following question:

Which 3 things, if achieved today, get me a big step closer to reaching my long-term goals?

Personally, I never start the workday without identifying my top 3 priorities for the day. I know that if I don’t identify my top priorities, I’ll end up wasting a lot of time doing tasks that don’t matter much. All of this ‘busywork’ might make me feel accomplished, but it doesn’t get me much closer to my long-term goals.

Drink Two Glasses of Water Right After Waking Up

When you wake up, it’s important to immediately hydrate your body. After being without water for 6–8 hours, you’re pretty much dehydrated. This leads to feeling sluggish, unfocused, and maybe even a bit irritated.

Therefore, I always drink two glasses of water right after waking up — before I have my first cup of coffee. I’m not naturally a morning person, but this simple habit helps me kickstart the day. I feel more energized and awake, boosting my morning mood and productivity.

Do A 5-Minute Daily Review

As part of my evening routine, I perform a 5-minute review of the day using my productivity planner. I ask myself the following questions:

• Did I accomplish my top 3 priorities of the day? If not, why not?
• Which tasks occupied my time and energy, but didn’t lead to meaningful results?
• Which people and activities sparked the most energy and happiness today?
• What would I do differently tomorrow?

This 5-minute review has helped me immensely in improving my performance in my business- and personal life. Over the last few years, it has helped me optimize my daily routine, fix blind spots, and work much smarter.

Reach Out To Your Type-A Friends

Honestly, I could do much better with this habit. I’m naturally an introvert, so I tend to forget to reach out to my most ambitious and positive friends. I should do this much more often.

However, I’ve noticed that those days in which I talk to my type-a friends (the ones who dream big, spark energy, and radiate positivity), I get infected with their energy. This automatically boosts my mood and motivation.

Yesterday, for example, I had a Zoom call with my friend

Corey Fradin

— who is crushing it on Medium these days — and I felt a level of energy and inspiration that I couldn’t reach if I’d just be with myself the whole day.

Remember, energy is infectious. The mindset and habits of the people you surround yourself with rub off. Use it to your advantage.

Avoid Information Overload Early In The Day

What’s the first thing most people do when they wake up? Check their smartphone. According to a study from IDC Research, about 80% of smartphone users check their mobile devices within 15 minutes of waking up every morning.

Within the first few minutes of waking up, they’ve already read dozens of opinions on social media, discovered five new to-dos in their email inbox, and found out about all the bad stuff happening in the world according to the news.

Instead of starting your days like this — which only leads to information overload, stress, and distraction — use the morning to focus on your mission. Your goals. Your priorities. Don’t be reactive to other people’s stuff, but focus on moving your life forward.

Use The Morning For Making

According to research, the morning is the most productive time of the day for 75% of knowledge workers. This is when most people naturally tend to be most energized, focused, and disciplined.

Therefore, one of the smartest moves is to use the morning for your most challenging and important tasks. These tasks require maximum mental performance, willpower, and focus. Since this is naturally at its peak in the morning (for most people), it’s the best window in the day to tackle your highest priority tasks.

One of my most productive rules is that the morning is for making, and the afternoon is for managing. In the morning, I do my writing, work on my courses, and perform other ‘making-type’ tasks that require my maximum performance.

Use The Afternoon For Managing

In the afternoon, I tend to be more prone to distractions, have less energy, and tend to procrastinate more. This is why, in the afternoon, I perform ‘managing-type’ tasks such as email, meetings, admin work, and Zoom calls.

These tasks don’t require my maximum cognitive performance, so they can be done during those hours when I’m naturally not at my best. It wouldn’t be the most optimal use of my time to complete these tasks in the morning — when I’m at my most productive.

Put Your Phone Away During Focus Hours

The smartphone is the biggest distraction for most knowledge workers. If you want to regain your focus and get more done, you need to put it away for at least 2–3 hours per day. Put it in your bag, hide it, or place it in a different room. Do whatever you can to protect yourself from this major source of distraction.

Studies have shown that the average smartphone user unlocks their phone 150 times a day (once every 10 minutes) and spends an average of 3 hours and 15 minutes on their phones (the average millennial spends 5.7 hours on their phone). No wonder that a study by Microsoft found that, since the year 2000, the average attention span has dropped by 33%.

Therefore, during my morning deep work hours, I put my phone away and turn all notifications off. The payoff in extra focus and productivity is truly invaluable.

Have Fun

Some people are too serious about everything. All this seriousness stifles creativity and sucks energy. But it doesn’t have to be like this. I believe that chasing big goals and having fun can co-exist. In fact, they should co-exist. I mean, what’s it all worth when you’re not having fun?

Joke around. Act silly. Don’t get caught up in all the seriousness of doing business. The more fun you have, the more creative and energized you’ll feel. Fun fuels your success.

Focus On The Payoff, Not The Effort

I used to struggle a lot with procrastination and mental resistance. The problem was that I was overly focused on the effort while not reminding myself enough about the payoff of my work.

Instead of reminding myself how completing certain tasks and projects would help me grow my business, increase my income, or get me closer to my goals, I’d ponder too much over how much time and energy doing the work would cost me.

Only when I practiced ‘mental shifting’ was I able to beat procrastination and decrease mental resistance towards my work. Instead of focusing so much on the ‘pain,’ I started focusing on the ‘gain.’

For example, instead of pondering over the time and effort writing an article would cost me, I’d focus on how it would help me earn more money, grow my audience, and positively impact other people. This ‘mental shift’ turned out to be a game-changer in defeating procrastination.

Now Do It

Remember, knowledge is only potential power. If you want to make a real change in your life, you need to apply what you’ve learned.

Therefore, as an action point for this article, pick at least two micro-habits and apply them in your life as soon as possible.

 

This is only for your information, kindly take the advice of your doctor for medicines, exercises and so on.   

https://gscrochetdesigns.blogspot.com. one can see my crochet creations  
https://gseasyrecipes.blogspot.com. feel free to view for easy, simple and healthy recipes    
https://kneereplacement-stickclub.blogspot.com. for info on knee replacement