How Best to Deal with a Loved One Going Through Depression
No matter how optimistic we may be, many
situations in life can bring us down, from the death of a loved one, to a
devastating breakup. Nevertheless, sadness is a normal part of the
range of emotions we feel. However, should we find it difficult to snap
out of our sadness or fail to see a solution to our situation, then what
we are feeling is more than simply just the blues. Dealing with
depression can be difficult for a person to face. But how can you tell
if your loved one or a good friend is going through more than just a
rough patch?
Identifying the Symptoms of Depression
Did you know that depression affects 7% (16 million) of American adults?
How do you distinguish between sadness and depression?
Depression is a persistent, long-lasting mental health condition that
interferes with a sufferer's everyday life. It affects many aspects of a
person's well-being and functioning. Unlike sadness, which can be
triggered by a painful life event, the extent to which depression takes
hold and drags a person down is much greater. So how do you identify the
signs and symptoms if you suspect that someone you know is suffering
from depression?
Be concerned if your loved one has any of the following symptoms:
Low energy
Physical fatigue
Difficulty focusing, concentrating or remembering
Difficulty in making decisions
Decreased libido
Feelings of emptiness, sadness, or guilt
Interpersonal withdrawal from others
Changes in sleep and appetite
Thoughts of suicide
Persistent feeling of anxiety
Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
Aches and pains, headaches or digestive problems without a clear
physical cause that do not ease with treatment.
Not everyone experiences every symptom when dealing with depression.
Some people experience just a few, while others experience many or all.
It is worth noting that several persistent symptoms alongside a low mood
may be a sign of major depression, and that symptoms may vary depending
on the stage of the illness.
Furthermore, how long the symptoms last, as well as their severity and
frequency, will vary depending on the individual and his or her
particular illness. In the case of mild depression, individuals may
persistently feel negative or blue. If it's moderate, depression will
start to interfere with their everyday lives. Be on the lookout for
signs such as not getting out of bed, cleaning the house, doing the
laundry, filing papers or completing assignments.
To sum up the difference between sadness and depression, while a sad
person may not want to get up and go to work, they still do. A depressed
person, on the other hand, might fail to get out of bed at all (unless
the consequences of doing so are grave, such as getting fired). A sad
person will still make an effort to hang out with friends, but someone
who is depressed is more inclined to ignore texts or calls completely.
How to Talk to a Loved One About Depression
Once the symptoms have been identified, seeking psychiatric help is not
required immediately. The person may feel more comfortable sharing what
they are going through with a close friend at first. Naturally, it may
be hard to know what to say when speaking to a loved one about
depression. You may worry that he or she will get angry, feel insulted
or possibly ignore your concerns. You may also be unsure about what
questions to ask and how best to be supportive.
However you approach it, bear in mind that it is more important to be a
compassionate listener than it is to give advice. It is not your job to
'fix' the person. The simple act of talking to someone face to face may
be of enormous help to them. On this note, a single conversation will
not be the end of it. You may therefore need to express your concern and
willingness to listen over and over again. So aim to be gentle, yet
persistent.
Breaking the ice:
If you're unsure about how to start a conversation with your loved one
about your concerns, try the following:
I have been concerned about you lately.
I have noticed differences in you and wondered how you are doing.
I wanted to check in with you because you have seemed pretty down
lately.
Encouraging your loved one to open up:
Showing interest in how they are feeling may make it easier for your
loved one to open up about how they are feeling. Questions you can ask
include:
When did you begin feeling like this?
Did something happen that made you start to feel this way?
How can I best support you right now?
Have you thought about getting help?
What you say helps:
Being supportive with your words may help. Focus on offering words of
encouragement and hope. You can say things like:
You are not alone in this. I'm here for you.
You may not believe it now, but the way you're feeling will change.
I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care
about you and want to help.
When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just
one more day, hour or minute - whatever you can manage.
You are important to me.
Your life is important to me.
Tell me what I can do to help you.
But be sure to avoid saying:
It's all in your head.
We all go through times like this.
Look on the bright side.
I can't do anything about your situation.
Just snap out of it.
What's wrong with you?
Shouldn't you be better by now?