28 Things We HAVE to Stop Doing to Ourselves
For many years, I was my own worst enemy. I
surrounded myself with toxic people, adopted unhealthy habits, and
behaved like none of this had any consequences. Boy, was I wrong! I have
made some changes in my life and my behavior, and the results were
astounding. I now want to share these changes with you, in the hope that
it will help you too.
1. Don’t associate with the wrong people
People who make you feel like you’re not worth their time, who treat you
like you’re beneath them, or who never back you up when you need them
to are not people deserving of your time and energy. True friends will
make time for you and stick with you through thick and thin.
2. Stop avoiding your problems
It may be the easy thing to do in the short term, but in the long run,
you’ll just face them again and again. It’s better to tackle hardship
head-on. You probably won’t solve your problems instantly, but the
process is what counts – learn from your mistakes, adapt, and grow.
Eventually, it’ll make you a better, stronger person.
3. Don’t lie to yourself
Honesty is the best policy, and being honest with yourself is the most
important part of this policy. When you lie to yourself, you know that
you’re lying, so it’s pointless and will make you feel like a
disingenuous person. Don’t do it.
4. Don’t ignore your own needs
You may want to be there for all of your friends, all the time, or you
may think that your children’s needs come before your happiness. They
don’t. If you suppress your needs, you’ll become tired, because fighting
a need is tiresome, and you’ll end up unhappy at best and severely
depressed at worst. Take some “me time” - indulge in a hobby or passion.
It’s worth it.
5. Be yourself
Trying to be someone you’re not is hard work, and ultimately, you’ll
always be afraid others will find out. The most gratifying relationships
are with people who appreciate you for who you are, not who you want
others to think you are.
6. Let go of the past
It cannot be changed, so learn from it and get on with it.
7. You can make mistakes
“To err is human, to forgive is divine” – we all make mistakes, and no
one is perfect. The only way to make no mistakes is to do nothing, and
people who are afraid of mistakes are often paralyzed by that fear. The
more things you avoid out of fear, the more regrets you’ll end up
having.
8. Let bygones be bygones
Staying up late at night, thinking of all of the things you did wrong,
all of the conversations that could have gone differently if you’d have
said (or hadn't said) that one thing? You’re wasting your time and
energy. Past mistakes are made and then are in your past - you can learn
from them, make amends, and move on. The knowledge learned from the
mistakes you made in the past are helping to shape your future. They
will end up making you a better person.
9. Money can’t buy you happiness
That new TV, shiny car, those diamond earrings – they may make you happy
for a few minutes, a few days or even a couple of years, but true
happiness comes from within. Follow your passions and enjoy life – that
will make you truly happy.10. Happiness is in you, not in other
people
Other people are looking for happiness just like you, they may like to
join you for the ride, but the only person responsible for your
happiness - is you.
11. A rolling stone gathers no moss
Problems and fears can paralyze you and get you stuck. You may need to
stop over-thinking and try a different approach, but always take
decisive action once you do. Sure, you’ll make mistakes, but at least
you won’t be stuck anymore.
12. Don’t get into a relationship just because you’re lonely
A relationship requires two people who are both ready and willing to be
in a relationship. Loneliness may be a terrible feeling, but being with
the wrong person ends up feeling even worse. You’ll find the right
person as long as you’re true to yourself.
13. Don’t wait until you’re “ready”
Life will always find ways to surprise you. Opportunities arise when you
least expect them. You may never be ready, but don’t let it stop you.
When an opportunity comes knocking – take it. When you need to do
something – do it. Don’t get stuck in your comfort zone.
14. Old relationships shouldn’t affect new
relationships
Even if your last relationship (or relationships) ended in heartbreak,
don’t let it prevent you from entering a new one. A new person may help
you mend that broken heart and bring out the best in you.
15. Life is not a competition
Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be someone
who seems better looking, smarter, richer, or more talented. Nobody is
perfect, including you. Your success is your own - between you and
yourself.
things we need to stop doing
16. Self-pity and complaints will get you nowhere
Wallowing in your own misery and constantly complaining doesn’t solve
your problems and also tends to push people away. Consider every time
something bad happened, and find the good that came out of it. You’ll
realize that hardship is just a matter of perspective.
17. Grudges are bad for your health
Holding on to anger and hate will push people away and end up hurting
you and your loved ones. To forgive doesn’t mean ignoring what was done
to you, but rather to acknowledge it and refuse to let it dampen your
happiness. Also, remember to forgive yourself as well.
18. Don’t let others make you stoop to their level
“Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise
theirs.”
things we need to stop doing
19. Stop wasting time on justifying yourself
Your friends don’t require explanations, and enemies won’t care. As long
as you know in your heart that you are right, stop apologizing.
20. If something doesn’t work, try a different approach
Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is “doing the
same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
21. Small moments count
We tend to remember only the big moments, but the majority of life
occurs in small doses. A shooting star, a moment of joy, the last rays
of a sunset – these are the fillings of life’s cake, and it’s the best
part.
22. Perfection is impossible
No one and nothing is perfect, and perfectionists are often the most
frustrated people in the world.
23. Don’t separate optimism from realism
Sometimes things fall apart, and that’s okay. Sometimes you feel weak,
and that’s also okay. You can’t pretend that everything is fine when it
clearly isn’t, so don’t avoid the truth – embrace it.
24. The easiest choice is not always the best one
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, and the easy way out often leaves you
feeling empty. Dare. Take risks. A truly extraordinary life is never an
easy one.
25. Take responsibility for your actions
The only person you can control in this world is you. Other people can’t
make your dreams come true for you, nor can they take the blame for
your mistakes. Don’t give other people power over you.
26. Don’t make yourself sick with worry
Worrying doesn’t solve problems, but it definitely can create new ones.
If you find yourself worrying about something, ask yourself if it will
really impact you in the future – if it doesn’t, it’s not worth the
worry.
27. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want
A positive approach helps in two ways – it aids with your happiness and
helps you solve problems faster than a negative one.
28. Remember to be grateful
When you wake up each morning, be thankful that you’re alive, appreciate
each day, and be grateful for what you’ve got. In other parts of the
world, people may not be so lucky.