Guide to Relaxation
Call it what you like - Stress, tension, anxiety or worry. It all comes
down to you feeling bad both physically and mentally. Anxiety has become one of
the most prevalent forces in modern life, with more and more people feeling
overwhelmed and anxious when dealing with the many challenges and problems life
puts on their path. When this happens, don't blame yourself, many are in the
same boat. Read this guide and you'll find there are many ways to reduce your
worries and anxiety.
Part A: Symptoms
If you're not sure you really are disproportionately anxious, know that
anxiety can manifest in three types of symptoms:
Emotional Symptoms
• A sudden feeling of
apprehension, dread or unexplained guilt.
• Feeling worried for large
periods of time without the ability to stop the worrying thoughts.
• Intrusive thoughts about things
that make you anxious even when you're in the middle of doing something else.
• You find uncertainty
intolerable, if there is a problem, you must know about it right away.
Behavioral symptoms
• Finding it extremely hard to
relax or enjoy a quiet time.
• Frequently putting things off
because you feel overwhelmed.
• Avoiding situations that make
you anxious.
Physical symptoms
• Feeling like your muscles are
tense, that your body aches from being held rigid.
• Having trouble either falling or
staying asleep, as your mind will not stop working.
• Feeling cranky, edgy or
jumpy.
• Stomach pain, nausea, and other
stomach issues often occur.
Part B: Treating the Anxiety
We often feel like our worries are generated from the outside. From other
people, problems or situations that trigger this worried anxiety within us. But
the truth is that worrying comes from within. There are triggers all around us,
but it is the anxiety machine within us that spins it over and over again,
making a running dialog that produces worry.
Once you realize that your worries are not really helping you plan but are
just wasting valuable energy, you can start dealing with the irrationality of
these worrying thoughts. This may mean challenging these irrational thoughts,
learning to accept uncertainty, and postponing the act of worrying.
Step 2: Physical Relaxation Techniques
A big part of anxiety is how we physically feel when it happens. Anxiety is
our body's reaction to perceived danger. It used to help us escape predators.
Our hearts pound in our chests, we breathe faster, more shallow breaths, our
muscles tense up and we feel light-headed. All these things are great when you're
escaping an angry tiger, but in everyday life, this reaction can also be
triggered by much smaller threats, like being late to work or doing something
embarrassing in front of other people.
That is why it is important to know a few techniques to physically relax
your body. The most important thing is REPETITION AND REGULAR PRACTICE. Set
aside 30 minutes once a day, or when you're anxious, to practice some of the
following:
Progressive muscle relaxation
Start releasing all the muscles in your body. First clench your toes, as
hard as you can. Then unclench them. The move to your calves and do the same.
Repeat this for every part of your body that has muscle, working your way from
the toes to the legs, the middle of your body, up to your arms and hands and finally
neck and head. Do it patiently, give attention to each muscle as you clench it.
This will help relax your body and with it your mind.
Deep breathing
When we're anxious, we start breathing faster, causing hyperventilation.
This, in turn, leads to symptoms such as lightheadedness, feeling out of
breath, dizziness, and tingly extremities. These scare us, creating a loop of
anxiety that gets higher and higher. By forcing your breath to become slower,
deliberate and coming from your diaphragm, you'll be signaling to your body
that it is time to relax, and you'll be surprised how effective it can be.
Meditation
Countless studies have proven beyond doubt that there are many kinds of
meditation that lead to reduced anxiety. Meditation can not only reduce your
physical symptoms but, over time, help you control the flow of thoughts in your
head. As you gain more control over your thoughts, you will be able to stop
their persistent nagging.
Use your senses to calm yourself down quickly.
Sight: Look at something you find beautiful, walk around somewhere pretty or look
at photos that make you feel good, such as family photos or treasured photos
from your past. Animal photos have also been proven to have a calming effect on
our psyche.
Sound: Listen to something relaxing. Slow music, the sounds of nature. Listen to
crashing waves and the wind passing through the leaves.
Smell: Certain smells reduce anxiety and promote relaxation. A great example is
lavender, which is great for relaxing both body and mind, as well as promoting
healthy sleep.
Taste: Cook yourself something delicious. Slowly eat a favorite treat. Do NOT
start treating anxiety with sugary sweets, because you will create a sugar
spike that will only lead to more anxiety later on. Not to mention you can
develop a nasty habit of calming yourself down with fattening foods. Eat
something slowly, enjoy the taste and let it overwhelm everything else.
Touch: Take a hot, scented bath. Pet your dog or cat. Wrap yourself in
something soft like a good blanket. Enjoy a good massage or sit outside and
feel the wind caress your skin.
Step 3: Connecting with others
Being under stress, being worried and feeling anxious is worst when you are
dealing with it alone. Without any objective feedback, everything just becomes
bigger and worse in our minds. A quick and honest evaluation from someone else
can drastically reduce the amount of time we spend obsessing and worrying over
a problem.
However, being anxious can also negatively impact your relationships with
others. You may seem cranky, or you may come across as needy and weak. That is
why many don't disclose their anxiety, fearing to be judged.
Build a strong support system
Offer your trust and your help to others, and use them to lean on when your
anxiety gets too bad. Have people you trust and who you find steady and calming
to help you through this difficult time.
Talk about your worries
This may sound easy, but many find it hard to talk about their deepest,
darkest anxieties because they are afraid to make them more real. The truth is
usually the opposite, and when things come out and you tell someone about
what's bothering you, it usually makes your problem seem much smaller and a lot
less scary.
Avoid those who make you feel anxious
Certain people may make us more worried and increase our anxiety. Remember,
you probably picked up your anxiety from someone in your life, and so that
person may make you more anxious if you're around them. Similarly, some people
may make you feel guilt, shame or fear, and they too should have limited
appearance time in your life. So considering who to turn to for that talk,
remember those people that make you feel safe.
Step 4: Change your lifestyle
A huge part of our anxiety stems from improper lifestyle choices. These can
be easily fixed by:
Adopting healthy eating habits
Don't skip breakfast, and continue having small meals throughout the day.
Going too long without eating may lead to low blood sugar levels, which will
make you feel anxious and cranky. Eat lots of complex carbs such as fruit,
vegetables, and whole grains.
Limiting your caffeine and sugar intake
Carbonated drinks, coffee, and tea can increase your anxiety and disrupt
your sleep. Sugary snacks and treats will spike your blood sugar levels and
then crash, leaving you feeling drained.
Similarly, avoiding alcohol and nicotine
Alcohol may be used by many to 'drown their sorrows', but it actually
increases anxiety as it leaves you. Drinking away your worries may also take
you on the path to alcoholism. Cigarettes may seem like they have a calming
effect, but, in fact, are stimulants, even powerful ones, and will eventually
lead you to more anxiety, not less.
Getting enough sleep
We can't stress this enough. A lack of sleep or disrupted sleep will have a
terrible effect on your anxiety and will always make it worse. Also, your
ability to deal with anxiety and with problems, in general, will decrease once
you are sleep deprived, which will, in turn, make you feel helpless, increasing
the anxiety.
Part C: When should you seek professional help?
Knowing the difference between being worried and having a condition is hard.
What started as normal worrying can become what's known as 'General Anxiety
Disorder' or GAD. People who suffer from GAD cannot stop worrying, and this
worry becomes a normal state for them. GAD is a well-known condition and is
very common these days, especially in Western society. It can be handled with
either medication or therapy.
The first and most important sign that you need to seek some help is the
length of time you've been feeling anxious. If you have been having this
feeling for over six months, that's a clear sign that something is wrong and
that you need some actual help.
Another sign is that your worries are significantly disrupting your
everyday life, job, relationship or other social activities.
So if you find that you can't stop worrying, and nothing you do will stop
these obsessive thoughts and tense muscles. Please don't try to fight it alone.
Never be ashamed to ask for help. It is not your fault, it's a fault in your
brain chemistry that you have no control over. Do the brave thing and go seek
some medical assistance.