World Mental Health Day: Why monitoring screen time isn’t enough to protect a child’s mental health
A child may be physically at home, sitting in their bedroom with a phone or laptop, while navigating friendships, rejection, social pressure and questions about identity in an entirely different space. For many children and adolescents, the digital world has become an extension of everyday life, influencing how they connect with others, see themselves and deal with difficult emotions.
That makes a child’s online experiences an important part of conversations about mental health. From social media comparisons and online exclusion to gaming habits and the growing use of artificial intelligence (AI), the digital environment can shape how children learn, interact and build confidence.
Mansi Poddar, a trauma-informed psychotherapist, believes the focus needs to move beyond the number of hours children spend looking at screens. Parents must also consider what children experience online and what needs these digital spaces fulfil.
Instead of concentrating only on screen time, she suggests paying attention to screen quality. What is a child getting from their online interactions? Are they finding friendship and belonging, exploring their identity, or dealing with conflict that they find difficult to discuss at home?
Why screen time alone does not tell the whole story
A child spending time online is not necessarily having a negative experience. Digital spaces can offer opportunities for connection, entertainment and self-expression, particularly during adolescence, when friendships and a sense of belonging become increasingly important.
However, the same spaces can also expose children to comparison, exclusion and situations they may not know how to handle. An interaction that appears insignificant to an adult may feel deeply personal to a child who is navigating friendships or struggling to fit in.
Poddar suggests that parents look beyond the duration of screen use and become curious about what happens during that time.
What does a child experience on social media? How do they feel after gaming or interacting with friends online? Is the digital world providing something they feel is missing from their offline lives, or are they simply keeping up with their peers?
These questions can help parents understand the context behind a child's digital habits instead of treating all screen use as a problem.
How parents can talk to children about their digital lives
Restricting access to devices or threatening to take away a phone may not address the reasons a child spends time online. According to Poddar, healthy digital habits are difficult to establish through pressure alone. Parents first need to understand what their children are getting from these experiences.
A conversation can begin with simple, open-ended questions. Instead of asking only how much time a child has spent on a device, parents can ask how social media or gaming makes them feel, or whether something online has been difficult to manage.
The distinction matters because children may be reluctant to discuss uncomfortable experiences if they fear that telling the truth will lead to losing access to their devices.
A non-judgmental approach can make it easier for them to talk about online friendships, conflict, identity or situations that leave them feeling upset. Parents do not have to approve of every online activity to listen and understand what is happening.
Poddar emphasises that digital safety is ultimately relational. Children need to know that their parents are on their side and will help them navigate difficult situations, rather than immediately respond with punishment.
AI, social media and gaming: Three areas parents should watch
Sandeep Kumar, founder of COP, identifies AI, social media and gaming as three areas that deserve greater attention as children grow up in an increasingly digital environment.
1. AI and the opportunity to learn independently
AI tools can help children access information and complete tasks. However, Kumar cautions that relying on AI for every answer could reduce opportunities for children to work through problems, make mistakes and develop independent problem-solving skills.
Struggling with a question or trying different approaches before finding a solution can be part of the learning process. The concern, therefore, is not simply whether children use AI, but whether it becomes a substitute for thinking through challenges themselves.
2. Social media and the pressure to keep up
Social media can expose children to carefully curated images, videos and lifestyles that may create unrealistic expectations. Constant communication can also contribute to the feeling that something is always happening elsewhere and that they might be missing out.
Kumar points out that platforms are designed to keep users engaged, which can make it easy for occasional use to become habitual.
For parents, changes in a child's usage patterns, mood or willingness to discuss online experiences may be reasons to check in. These signs do not automatically indicate a mental health problem, but they can offer an opportunity to understand how a child is responding to their digital environment.
3. Gaming and real-world confidence
Gaming can provide entertainment and a sense of achievement. However, Kumar raises a concern about the difference between success in a virtual environment and the experience of navigating challenges in everyday life.
Winning in a game does not necessarily prepare a child for situations where outcomes are uncertain or where failure is part of learning. Developing confidence also involves dealing with setbacks, practising skills and working through real-world challenges.
Why early conversations are important
Digital behaviour can change gradually, making it difficult for parents to recognise when a child's habits or experiences deserve closer attention. Kumar says changes such as spending longer hours on messaging apps, shifts in usage patterns, mood changes while or after using a phone, or unusual digital behaviour can be signals worth discussing.
None of these signs, on its own, establishes that a child is experiencing a mental health difficulty. Their significance depends on the wider context, including the child's emotional state, relationships and daily functioning.
Kumar says COP is designed to support parents by helping them notice changes and start conversations early. He stresses that technology cannot replace parental judgement. Its role, as he describes it, is to help parents stay aware while supporting children as they learn to navigate digital spaces more confidently and independently.
The broader challenge is to help children understand their digital habits and make informed decisions, rather than relying entirely on restrictions imposed by adults.
Helping children build a healthier relationship with technology
Children's online lives cannot always be separated from their offline relationships. Friendships, social pressures and questions about belonging increasingly move between the two, which means parents need to understand both.
That begins with curiosity. Asking children about their online experiences, listening without immediately judging them and noticing changes in their behaviour can help create an environment where they feel comfortable seeking support.
Rules and boundaries around device use can still have a place, but they work best when accompanied by conversations about why those boundaries matter. Children also need opportunities to build relationships, solve problems and develop confidence away from screens.
As Poddar's perspective suggests, the question is not simply how long a child spends online. It is what happens to them while they are there, how they feel afterwards and whether they have someone they can turn to when something goes wrong.
Understanding those experiences is an important part of understanding a child's mental health today.