9 Defense Mechanisms That Make You Deny Your Feelings
Most of the human brain's defense
mechanisms operate outside of our conscious awareness, and that's
because they're designed to protect us from various factors that might
damage our brain function. Psycho-dynamic theory (Sigmund Freud et al.),
states that these defenses are a way of distancing ourselves from
acknowledging unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as we go
through our lives.
The thing is that mental strength and
balance diminishes the brain's necessity for using them. A mentally
strong person will not feel the need to hide behind the brain’s
defenses, and moreover, knows how to deal with the unpleasant truths
found within. Here are nine brain defense mechanisms to be aware of, and
ask yourself whether you're relying on them to deal with problems,
rather than facing them head-on:
1. Denial
This is the simplest defense mechanism to explain. If a given situation
is too difficult for a person to deal with, they will deny and ignore
it. Psychologists argue that this is our most primitive defense
mechanism, and its roots are in our childhood when we would block our
ears to avoid hearing unpleasant things. As children, we would think
that as long as we’re not aware of something, it doesn’t exist. As
adults, we learn that it doesn’t really work that way, but the denial
mechanism still exists within us. Many people who deal with problems use
denial, such as an alcoholic denying the fact that his excessive
drinking destroys his relationships, or a smoker refusing to believe
that smoking harms his health.
2. Repression
This a defense mechanism that prevents the brain from being able to
consciously access thoughts, memories, feelings or impulses that
interfere with staying calm. These are usually thoughts that cause a
person to feel guilty or something that has hurt them physically or
mentally.
The mind keeps these thoughts in the unconscious area to protect itself
from harm. However, repression limits the brain's available energy for
creative and constructive behavior, and may even be a basis for mental
illness.
3. Projection
3. Projection
The well-known saying “the hunchback sees only his companion’s hump” alludes to this defense mechanism. Projection is a situation where a person projects their emotions on someone else, thereby ignoring the fact that they are really their own. Usually, these are aggressive or sexual thoughts that a person can’t accept that they have come from themselves. For example, a husband may think that his wife makes bad choices in friends, when in fact he is the one who doesn’t keep good company.
4. Regression
When faced with a stressful situation, we sometimes revert to childlike
behavior in order to deal with it. For example, boys who learn sex
education at school may start giggling to hide their embarrassment.
Similarly, Freudian psychoanalysts theorize that smoking or overeating
during stressful moments is a regression to the first developmental
stage of that theory, namely the oral phase.
Many psychiatrists view regression as a therapeutic method that may be
useful to a person as long as it is overseen by a professional, and is
used for guided imagery or hypnosis.
5. Displacement
Displacement is when the mind unconsciously substitutes either an aim or
object for a new one when the aim or object in its original form is
deemed too dangerous to confront. For example, a person who is always
being reprimanded at work will come home and reprimand his children (the
new "object") instead of getting back at the person he wants, which is
his boss (the original, dangerous "object).
The purpose of this mechanism is to reduce stress, and it exists even in
animals. For example, a sparrow will begin to peck frantically at a
tree when it's confronted with a rival bird that it cannot attack due to
being too small or otherwise.
6. Rationalization
Another simpler name for this mechanism could be "inventing excuses".
Rationalization involves our unconscious mind distorting the objective
facts of a given situation or event in order to fit in with a narrative
that will make us feel better about ourselves. For example, a person who
was offered a wonderful job, but was fired after a single week, can
rationalize the situation by holding a belief that the company they
worked for is bad, and that they didn't want to work there in the first
place.
Another example is a father who constantly yells at his children and
claims that it is to educate and discipline them. Instead of
acknowledging responsibility for his undesirable and damaging behavior,
he rationalizes it in his own mind by telling himself that he's only
doing it for the sake of "educating" and "disciplining" his children.
7. Reaction formation
This defense mechanism causes a person to behave in a manner that's
diametrically opposed to their genuine thoughts and emotions. The
defense mechanism has two stages - the first is unconscious and is
similar to denial, and the second is conscious.
For example, a celebrity or person in a position of power, such as a
politician or a footballer, may denounce homosexual behavior, when he
himself has homosexual tendencies. For the most part, the things he says
about homosexuality will be very mean and harsh, in order to best
clarify his "true" stance on the matter.
8. Intellectualization
Intellectualization is the avoidance of uncomfortable emotions by
focusing on the facts and logic of a given situation. This results in
the emotional (uncomfortable) aspects of the situation being deemed
irrelevant.
For example, intellectualization allows a wife that has been diagnosed
with cancer to have no qualms about investigating her illness at length
without feeling the need to confront the devastation that her husband
feels as a result of having a seriously ill partner. This can have a
negative impact on the relationship because seeing his wife
intellectualizing her illness and appearing to feel relatively okay
about it will prevent him from speaking up about his true feelings.
9. Sublimation
Unlike other defense mechanisms, sublimation is considered a positive
mechanism, because makes the person deal with unacceptable impulses in a
healthy, productive and creative way. For example, a young man with
sadistic tendencies toward animals might turn his unacceptable impulses
into a career as a surgeon later in life.
The greatest advantage of this mechanism is that there is no need for
constant investment of energy to prevent impulses, and therefore it is
considered much healthier and more positive for the person’s mental
health.
T