How to Accept Your Body for What It Is
In the culture we live in, there is one
obsession that sometimes destructively affects many of us and our young
children. This is an obsession related to our body shape and weight,
which often causes us to fall into a cycle of negative thoughts that, in
extreme cases, can cause real harm to our bodies. Of course, it’s
important to maintain health and a normal body weight, but if you’re
dissatisfied with your body’s appearance for reasons unrelated to
health—whether due to comparisons with others or to a body shape you had
a few years ago—it’s important to know the following 9 tips, which will
help you feel much more at peace with your body and gain calm and
tranquility.
1. Fight Your Thoughts, Not Your Body
Think for a moment about the last times you laughed wholeheartedly and
felt free—those moments when you didn’t think about your body at all. In
those moments, you were in the same body you’re in now, yet you managed
to be happy because you weren’t focused on your thoughts about it. It’s
easy to think the body is the problem, but if you can experience
moments of happiness in your body and then later feel terrible in it,
the problem likely isn’t your body—it’s your thinking. Of course, if
your body isn’t healthy, you should make changes to heal it, but the
root of most of the suffering we experience regarding our bodies is
mainly tied to the thoughts weighing us down.
This is why some people, whom we might see as having a perfect body,
will always claim they’re dissatisfied with it, while others, whom we
might label as overweight, feel free and at ease in their bodies. Over
the next few weeks, notice the moments of happiness and peace you
experience. Then, when you find yourself stuck under the burden of
negative thoughts about your body, remind yourself of the reason, which
lies in your negative perception rather than the state of your body
itself.
2. Accept Your Body as It Is
Many people spend a considerable amount of time trying to change their
body shape. There are things we don’t even attempt because we know they
won’t succeed—like wishing for a different eye color or smaller feet—but
when it comes to things like the shape of our stomach, we rarely accept
the current state as it is. Accepting your body as it is means stopping
the argument you have with your nature. If you’re overeating or
undereating, or avoiding physical activity, you’re probably not in the
body you want or could be in, but self-hatred won’t help you achieve it.
Self-love, care, and unconditional acceptance, on the other hand, are
the things that will help you see it differently.
Imagine welcoming your body as it is and ask yourself what you would
gain from it. Of course, there’s no need to neglect it health-wise, but
if your goal is to resist your body’s natural state, you might gain more
by accepting it unconditionally.
3. Keep a Broader Perspective
For many people, dissatisfaction with their body becomes the center of
their lives and harms their peace and relationships. For others,
society’s dictated views on beauty might distract them and interfere
with their lives. In either case, self-hatred causes people to miss out
on what life has to offer, as most of their thoughts are preoccupied
with this issue. But the question these people should ask themselves is
whether their weight or body shape matters more to them than their
health or life itself?
Beyond your body shape, what truly matters to you in life? Imagine that
the last month of your life has just begun, and all hopes of changing
your body shape are gone—how would you spend your time? What would you
think about now? The answers will reveal what matters more to you.
4. Become Your Body’s Best Friend
Our body works tirelessly, performing countless actions that help us
live, yet most people forget to thank it, appreciate it, or even ignore
or harm it. You should be your body’s best friend, not a bully who
abuses it. If you tend to criticize your body and compare it negatively
to others, it’s highly recommended that you take a moment to thank it
for all the wonderful things it does for you without you even asking.
Say thank you to your body every day. Think about the systems and organs
working in it 24 hours a day. Give thanks for the senses of sight,
touch, smell, hearing, and taste that you still have, and appreciate
them, because these are the most important things your body provides so
you can live your life. Help it maintain those senses and all the
internal processes working within it, and by doing so, you’ll help
yourself live your life as you’re meant to.
5. Check If Self-Hatred Helps You
Self-hatred is like a virus that takes over you and creates many
problems. In such a state, you’re vulnerable to additional negative
thoughts that will cause issues, distancing you from healing the
situation that started it all—self-hatred. This feeling makes us think
it’s what will motivate us to help ourselves and give us drive, but if
self-hatred truly helped us lose weight, most people would become thin
overnight.
Ask yourself: If the self-hatred you’re suffering from helps you feel
better, why don’t you feel better already? Try to see if self-love and
honesty might motivate you more. Treat yourself the way you would treat a
beloved child, and nurture positive feelings instead of negative ones.
6. Challenge the Idea That Thin People Are
Happier
The diet industry relies on the myth that thin people are happier, but
think about it: Do you know thin people who aren’t happy all the time?
Do you know fuller people who are satisfied with their lives most of the
time? The answer to both questions is probably “yes.” The idea that
thinness provides happiness is challenged every day by someone who lost
weight through a diet and gained it all back shortly after, which
happens to at least some people who’ve been on diets. If thinness
provided happiness, those who lost their excess weight would live
happily ever after. People can be happy or disappointed in any body
size, and your happiness depends far more on your relationship with
yourself than on anything else.
Can you find something in your life that brings you happiness right now
and isn’t related to your body shape? Can you see that, at the basic
level of life, we’re all essentially similar? We all fear certain
things, we all want love, we’re all here temporarily, we all have
problems, and we all experience good and bad times. The next time you
compare yourself to someone thinner or more muscular, tell yourself
you’re just making up a story about their happiness and that, in
reality, you have no idea what’s going on in their mind.
7. Remember: The First Thought Is Theirs,
the Second Is Yours
We’re not always responsible for the thoughts that come into our heads
from external sources, and it’s not our fault that we were born into a
culture obsessed with appearance, thinness, and perfection. When painful
thoughts about your body pop into your head, it’s not your fault; no
one thinks to themselves, “In 5 minutes, I’ll compare myself to someone
else, think I’m fat, and feel terrible all afternoon as a result.”
Negative thoughts about our body shape come automatically when we’re
unprepared for them, but you can improve your ability to catch and
recognize them, and that’s your responsibility. You may not be able to
avoid negative thoughts entirely, but you can be the one who decides
what to do with them once they arrive, thanks to your awareness.
Notice the negative thoughts that arise in your mind about your body,
and when you catch one, praise yourself for it. Then, try to refute that
thought by disagreeing with it or erasing it from your mind. Remind
yourself that if those thoughts were helping you, they should have made
you feel better by now—but the fact is, they haven’t.
8. Distinguish Between Self-Image and Body
Image
Healthy people have an identity made up of many things. For example,
their identity might be based on being kind, good, and loved, depending
on what they know or think about themselves. Some people will value more
their roles as parents, students, or good friends, or their talents,
hobbies, interests, and passions. There are many things that build a
person’s identity and can contribute to a sense of worth. Beyond all
that, we all have a body we need to care for and live in. When a person
suffers from a poor body image, they often won’t feel satisfied with
themselves and will try to cling to thinness as a goal they must
achieve. That person’s self-image and body image get tangled up, leading
them to think their identity is only good as long as their appearance
is good.
Think about all the things that are special and valuable about you that
have nothing to do with your appearance. Imagine how you’d feel if you
knew you were good enough just as you are. Don’t let your self-image get
tangled up with your body image—your body doesn’t make you a better or
worse person or more or less successful.
9. Expose and Address Your Core Issues
An obsession with body shape is painful, but at the same time, it
distracts from the more significant worries in our lives. Healing body
image issues requires a willingness to work on other problems too—those
deeper within you that aren’t related to how many calories you consume
or how much exercise you do in a day. Uncovering such issues and
thoughts requires hard work, but so does self-hatred. The good news is
that as you learn to handle your emotions and feelings better, you’ll
start feeling better regardless of your body shape.
What issues do you think your body shape is distracting you from? The
next time you find yourself standing in front of the mirror,
dissatisfied with what you see, ask yourself: “What would I be thinking
about right now if not my body?”
A Few Words in Conclusion
Healing body image is an ongoing process. No one goes from self-hatred
to self-love in an instant. It takes a lot of patience and practice to
erase all the negative thoughts in our minds and replace them with
kinder, more positive ones, but it is possible. If you want to break
free from hating your body, decide right now that your goal is to live
life fully and peacefully, regardless of the body you’re in.
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